Realizations

Things we figure out eventually

Used to wear my heart on my sleeve
until one day, I realized
I was freezing.
Sweaters counteract the cold, right?
Not so much.

As a teen I dreamed of
ferris wheel rides and a kiss at the top,
being asked to the dance,
maybe being noticed. No one looked
past the glasses on the nerd.

In college, I figured out
that there had to be a difference
between sex and being made love to.
I also learned that forever
lasted maybe 'til morning.

Romance seemed to be the stuff
of fairy tales, and all the princes
were in someone else's story. Never mine.
I found wolves and huntsmen,
the wicked warlocks, and all the trolls.

By the time I met that cowboy who asked me to dance
I'd given up--never was going to be the head cheerleader,
no prom queen for me. No, I just muddled
along, being nice, doing my best
and settling for decent and mediocre.

Almost impossible to trust
anyone but myself. Not even
me occasionally. Seriously shaky life choices
were fun in the now; questionable in hindsight.
Accountability accepted.

Still, that cowboy made me laugh. Saw things in me
no one else saw. Changed perspectives,
there's more than one mirror. Turns out we both
had trust issues--decades worth to work through.
Decades after that, we stick to our plan.

The head cheerleader is no one now. The prom nobility
rules nothing and my knight in dented armor
treats me like a queen. Life's never perfect:
that'd be as boring as it is unattainable.
I can wear my heart however I like.