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As an ambivert, home is a sanctuary, unless of course, you live with people. |
I have lived with people now since January 26th. During my five months of living with people I’ve had a cake stolen, I’ve had my juice drunk, my banana eaten and frankly, I don’t care for it. I’d rather a cat’s paws in my food, than those of one of these… people. I have discussed with myself that, of course, were it a friend who took the banana, I might not mind, but the fact that I dislike and am disliked by these particular people, means whoever took my banana, has pissed me off. And my expensive organic 2% salt butter kept disappearing. And don’t forget the bread. I will live with people for three more months. They will bug and bother me, their messiness will enrage me, I shall hate them more and more by each passing day. Someone watered my kress. Stay off my kress. I do not live with people because I identify as a social person, rather, as a semi-anti-social person who is learning exactly how anti social she can be, I live with people, one because that’s presently the option available to me, and two because I want to learn how to be with and as myself, surrounded by- people. Can I stay honest, can I be authentic, can I honor every spiteful mood without feeling the need to be friendly, accepted- by people whom I don’t want to be friends with, don’t want to be accepted as. I don’t like people. I like person. I like people more who stay off my stuff, my biz neez and leave me completely alone- than I do these busy-body, very nosy, in my kress kinda people. That, I, by the way, also fucking work with. I am aware and saddened by the wars of the world. My heart sinks for the wretched, the weak and the helpless. I struggle to look at the images coming through, and to read the stories of children now motherless, now fatherless, hungry. But at the same time, I kinda get it. Hear me out. Now, if I had firepower, a small dick and a regrettable hairline, I might be inclined to get violent over the violation of my banana. Alas this is how violent I am going to be. I am just going to be a little hateful, a little spiteful, a little toxic. |