The Squirrel and the Feeder

A short story about a man who finds more than he is looking for in his backyard.

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George walked quickly to the backyard with the new bird feeder his wife had asked him to purchase and install. It didn’t matter that he thought it was the stupidest thing he had ever placed in the yard. He couldn’t fathom the level of crazy it would take to sit and watch birds eat seeds. Of course, he knew better than to tell his wife what he thought.
He stuck the feeder in the ground and continued to set up the remainder of the stupid bird thing. Two long hours later, he finished. George then loudly proclaimed, “That’s two hours of my life I’ll never get back.”
He then quickly jerked his head toward the house to make sure his wife was not outside. George let out a long sigh of relief when he didn’t see her. He then picked up the bag of seed to pour into the feeder and took a seat on the nearby picnic table. He realized it might not be a bad thing to watch after all. It was the type of feeder that would start spinning if a squirrel climbed up the pole to a certain point.
While he watched, a squirrel crawled across the grass and climbed the feeder. Near the top, just short of the seeds, the squirrel began spinning wildly around the feeder. George started laughing so hard he couldn’t catch his breath.
“Help.”
Between his guffaws, George thought he heard someone call for help. He finally forced himself to stop laughing and look toward the house, worried it was his wife he heard call out.
“Help,” a voice called, thin and reedy.
George stood and looked around the yard. He could find no one calling for help. The only movement he could see was the squirrel spinning in circles around the bird feeder. He picked up the cardboard box the feeder came in and walked toward his target.
“Help, help me,” he heard from the squirrel.
Incredulous, he stepped closer to the spinning tree rat. Why wouldn’t the squirrel just let go? It was then he noticed the nearby cat. It was crouched and ready to chase and pounce as soon as the squirrel lost its grip.
“Help.”
This time, he was sure the squirrel was screaming for help. George couldn’t believe squirrels could talk. If they could talk, you’d think they would be smart enough to stay away from a spinning bird feeder.
“Help, help me.”
George jumped into action. As the squirrel spun toward him, he swung the cardboard box to intercept it. A loud thud and the sound of breaking glass accompanied George's landing in the grass. He quickly made his way to his knees and looked at the shattered bird feeder spread across the ground. Once again, he thought about his wasted time, only now it was more than doubled.
“Help me,” the request was weak, almost inaudible.
He moved quickly to the broken remains of the bird feeder and began looking for the squirrel. Moving the ruined pieces aside, he discovered there was no squirrel body to be found. George stood and surveyed the ground. He looked for the cat that had waited so patiently for the squirrel, but could not see it anywhere.
“Help me,” again the plea, weak and low.
George dove to where he heard the cry come from. He picked up the bar, which was the upright portion of the feeder. He noticed a small box attached to the upright rod. The seed holder had previously covered the box, and now, it began to vibrate.
“Help me,” came the reedy call for rescue.
George dropped to his knees and turned the folded cardboard box over. He had used it to rescue the squirrl and destroy the bird feeder. There on the box, in a red square, it read, “LAUGH AS SWINGING SQUIRRELS SEEM TO CALL FOR HELP FROM THE FEEDER.”
George hung his head, “How stupid could I have been, thinking a squirrel could talk?”
In a nearby tree, a squirrel took in the entire scene below him. Two more squirrels moved closer to the first. Soon, they were all watching George roll around in the grass.
The first squirrel said, “Can you believe this guy? His idea of a rescue was whacking me across the yard with a cardboard box.”
The squirrel next to him took a step back and started laughing. Out on the end of the limb, the other squirrel joined him in his laughter. They were laughing so hard they were in danger of falling out of the tree.
George looked up in the tree where several squirrels were chattering up a storm. If he didn’t know better, he could swear they were laughing at him.