The Three Little Pickers

Three Pickers are pestered by their boss. Parody of The Three Little Pigs.

Once upon a time there were three little pickers, Sallie, Kathy and Alison, who worked for Sweat Shop Ltd. The three pickers loved to spend all day rushing around with their picking trucks, working hard, in the hope of gaining one hundred PI or more for a paltry bonus to top up their measly excuse for a wage. At break times they would often be seen gossiping in the canteen about the usual crap women gossip about, fashion, soap operas and big willies. Despite being made to slog their guts out by a boss that lacked any form of empathy, the three pickers were very happy.

However, their big bad boss was not happy with getting away with paying peanuts to the pickers. He wanted to get his sweaty groping hands on them but they all found him repulsive. So, he plotted an evil plan. He would wait until they went for a toilet break then sneak in for a snog.

Sallie was the first to enter the toilets. Making sure no-one was looking he followed her in and found her entering the cubical.

He knocked on the door and said... "Little picker, little picker. let me in".

Sallie replied. "Not by the hair on my chinny chin chin".

"Then I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll bring your PI down".

Sallie cried and was forced to open the door. The big bad boss gave her a snog and left the toilets feeling satisfied. He went back to his office and waited for the next little picker to go in, hoping that it wouldn't be too long.

His patience paid off as he saw Kathy park her truck and head towards the ladies. Making sure the coast was clear he entered and walked up to the newly occupied cubical, ready for his encounter with the poor unwilling woman.

He knocked on the door and said... "Little picker, little picker. let me in".

Kathy replied. "Not by the hair on my chinny chin chin".

The big bad boss made a mental note to inform all female staff that they should shave before coming into work.

"Then I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll bring your PI down".

Kathy cried and was forced to open the door. The big bad boss gave her a snog and left the toilets feeling satisfied once more.

Now there was just Alison. Again, he waited in his office, watching her for any signs of squirming. After what seemed like ages she parked her truck and headed towards the toilets. The big bad boss checked no-one was watching and followed her inside.

He knocked on the door and said... "Little picker, little picker. let me in".

And Alison said... "Fuck off nobhead".

The big bad boss recoiled in shock and he ran out of the toilets. The other two pickers saw what had happened and they laughed as they saw their boss flee, embarrassed at his encounter with the snorting ferocious Alison.

And so, the big bad boss stayed in his office and the pickers lived happily ever after.