#231766 added March 11, 2003 at 8:36pm Restrictions: None
I am here
Current Mood: hopeless
Current Music: Breakdown - Tom Petty
I can't help this. I can't get over how well we mesh. We make sense. But, there's no hope. People always say: There's always hope. No there's not, they're lying. Bastards . . . There's no hope for me anymore. I'm dying. I'm withering away into nothing. Jacob makes me want to live. He makes me want to exist. He makes me want to do new things. He has changed me . . .
And now that it's no happening the way that I've wanted it to, then I am deteriorating. He's given up all hpe as well. Oh my love, look my way. I am here. I love you more than I'll love anyone for a long time. I pictured us growing old together, being with each other even though it's not right . . . Or would never be right with my mother.
. . . I am here. I am here waiting. I am here loving. I am here holding on to something that is non-existent.
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