Daily Flash Fiction Challenge

I can't help but chuckle at this piece! This is great!

I found myself reading faster and faster, feeling that pace of the ticktock; keeping up with the flow of the hastened conversation. Very well written!

And the ending, it is just so perfect! Those last two lines; I can feel his heart breaking, but then the "duh", I just had to laugh!

There is only one thing that I can think of that you might want to look at for this particular contest; the setting. It's a great piece, but where are they? Are they at the mall? Or standing in the hallways between classes? Are they in their apartment? One requirement for this contest is to have a setting and I'd hate for you to be disqualified for not having one, especially since you have a little bit of word buffer to add it in. It can be just a quick sentence there at the end when she "turns and hurries away".

Overall, this is a gem! 5 stars, hands down. Great work!

~ Lileigh Montgomery ~