Well, not sure if I can help but can tell you what I see when I look at someone else's blog. If I look at the comment I made, I have the option to remove. It's in the right corner of my post and uses the word "remove" for the link.
I even checked to see if there was an option for more than just allow comments or not that would provide the option for self-deletion but didn't see anything. Don't see anything. Perhaps if you could send a screen shot of what you are seeing that might help.
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