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82 Public Reviews Given
86 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Emily — James  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is an interesting way to do dialogue. I didn't see the ending coming. A very unsettling end. Yet it all works together well.
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Review of All Is Well  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I have never heard of a septolet...and neither had my spell check till I was today years old. Thank you for including a definition. Moving on.

I like how the two opposites kind build the image. It makes an image in my mind like crossing a threshold of non existence to being fully alive.

I am curious about the phrase at the end "All is Well". I assume it is part of the prompt that lead to this poem. Is there a reason to capitalize the words All and Well? Is it a song title or is there some higher meaning encapsulated in this mantra? (Sorry, ran out of synonyms for words.)

The image of the male cardinal sitting on a snowy branch that accompanies this poem is interesting. It definitely grabs one's attention.

I don't see spelling errors and the poem follows the rules for the form used. I don't think grammar and poetry ever mix, but I could be wrong. Anyways nothing needs fixing. This is a satisfying read even though I'm not sure what it means.(I've merely included my perceptions. If I'm wrong, please ignore me.)
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Rated: E | (5.0)
This is truly a delight to read. The humorous tone of Janet wanting donuts despite apocalyptic acid rain is very refreshing if a little absurd.


Your narrative kept hold of me all the way through the piece. Thank you for sharing your imagination with us here.
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for entry "Walnuts
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I love the way you describe walnuts in this poem. I never thought of them as having faces. My favorite two stanzas are the last two that make the nuts sound like wizards. It really made me chuckle.

The last two lines are also the only two that seem to rhyme. If I had to say a rhyme scheme it would be 'abcd efgg'. That doesn't fit a form of poem I know, thats okay though.

I think you definitely followed the rule about only using eight lines in your poem. Thats good. I can't see any problems with this poem. Good work.
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Review of Payback  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
My first thought when I read this is "gosh the narrator sounds like a truly awful person." Then you put someone's name that rhymes with grump in there and it all made sense.

I'm not sure I would've gone and put a living politician into a story with the prompt do you know who I am? Especially after I read s 's blog entry on including real people in a published work. It's a bit of a gray area legally. Yes "the grump" is a public figure and has been in the public eye since at least the 1990s, still the possibility of a libel lawsuit would scare me to death.

I think there were other safer options such as making it about an elderly person with dementia or someone with amnesia asking do you know who I am? Yes it's sadder and there are probably other risks but as long as it is not a real person, lawsuits aren't as much of a possibility.

Moving on, there weren't any glaring grammar or spelling errors. Thank you for giving me something short to read. Good luck in the activity you entered this in.
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for entry "~ Habit Building ~
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
These sound like some good goals you set for yourself. You have used a lot of ML to enhance your writing. For the most part it works but the smiley face, while emotive, is a little distracting.

Your writing about your goals and why you chose them was clear and easy to follow. Thank you for sharing a bit of yourself through this piece.
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for entry "Sun
Rated: E | (3.0)
This poem isn't a bad one. It meets the requirements of the activity it was written for.

That said there are some things I find irksome about this poem.

The body of the poem is all in lowercase. I've mostly seen poems that capitalize the first letter of every line.
I don't know if thats mandatory but breaking that tradition feels odd.

I don't think I'm familiar with the style this poem is written in. It appears to be a single stanza of thirteen lines. No rhyming scheme, I couldn't find a rhythm to the words. The poem focuses on the apparent constance of the sun and the inconsistency of...well whomever or whatever 'we' is.

I assume 'we' might be used to refer to people in general or the planet. The writing doesn't specify. It might not matter but I find it confusing.

One thing I did like was that you included a drop note with the prompt and requirement for the activity you wrote for. It made it easier to understand where the subject and length of this poem came from.

Something I think would have improved this work is some verbal imagery related to the sun. You could've talked about solar winds turbulently lashing out. Or how rising or setting is just a matter of perception.

Still I admire your courage in responding to a one word prompt. Good luck with your future poems.
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Review of Worst Kids Show  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I like this but I feel like Cailou and Cocomellon should also be added to this list. My niece watches Cocomellon songs ad nauseam. The only way I get through the "Daddy Finger" song is to imagine the time Mr. Rodgers accidentally flipped off a whole bunch of children while singing his rendition of that song.

Anyways on that note I would like to suggest a write in option for this survey. Otherwise good survey.
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Review of Do You Know Dogs?  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This was fun! You're very good at making quizzes.

The only bit of feedback is that I wish we could see what the right answers were. After the quiz completed I admit I was curious what the answers were to the questions I missed. If it's not possible, then don't worry about it.
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Rated: 18+ | (1.5)
I think I've read that poem and seen it reprinted on various household goods. Gonna try and give what constructive feedback I can in this review.

The contest asks for a prompt. You have answered this contests challenge but I think this could be clearer.

Your prompt is a leading question. Something with a yes or no answer. It does not ask for elaboration or an essay or a story based off the prompt. I feel like most writers might have trouble writing in response.

This is regardless of whether the author is christian or not. You haven't even hinted on whether you're after an essay or a poem. Maybe after asking if the reader has heard of the poem Footprints in The Sand, you could define the parameters of this prompt.

It's nice that you pray for Jesus to carry you. However in terms of what the contest is asking for, it feels unnecessary to add it at the end of your entry.

To quote the book of Mathew "your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly." So I don't think the phrase at the end adds anything to the prompt. God sees you. He doesn't need you showing everyone else how pious you are.

Sorry I ripped you a new one. This is just my opinion.
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Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I can't point anything out to improve. I'm using this review as an opportunity to tell you how reading this piece made me feel.

My mom died from complications due to stage 4 ovarian cancer. It was 2020 and I lived in one of the "hotzones" on the east coast. As a result, I wasn't able to say goodbye in person.

Reading this essay about how hospice helped you psychologically and physically prepare for your father's passing brought back those memories. Yet it was refreshing to read the perspective of someone else who experienced something similar. Thank you for sharing.
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for entry "Dragons to classes
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Reviewing Dragons to Classes for the I Write activity. This poem addresses the prompt directly in its sixteen lines. There were four quatrains. I didn't find any rhyming scheme. That's still acceptable not all poems have to rhyme.

The rhythm of the short stanzas kind of reminded me of wing beats. Can't explain why but they just did.

Your words describe the scene of a dragon picking up students perfectly.

I enjoyed the young dragon's enthusiasm at his job.
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Rated: ASR | (4.5)
This was the cutest story about a rat I've read. It sounds like you enjoyed your time together with Peek a Boo. A lot of people think rats are mean but this little guy sounds so sweet and gentle. Thank you for sharing such a positive story.

I am assuming that there was a word count limit for this story. It is very short and to the point.

One thing left me unsatisfied. While there was a sense of affection between you and your pet, I had other questions. Did owning a rat change your life?

I guess it's because I've never raised this type of animal but it seems unclear why family obligations would have made giving Peek a Boo up a necessity. Maybe you could have addressed those. Or it might just be me being dense.

These are just suggestions. It's up to you what you do with this review.
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Review of Why do I write?  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I read the whole essay. It was heart wrenching. Your struggle to become a professional author may not have borne fruit. However, I understand writing because you have to.

You are very articulate and descriptive. I felt as if I could see your feelings and actions as clearly as if this were a documentary film.

There were no spelling or grammar errors. I don't see any way to improve this essay. Just a heads up, I think I'll read some more of your writing.
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is so funny! It reminds me of some stories I've heard about customers my sister-in-law has come in for eye exams. One guy asked her for an epidural so they could look inside his eye better.

Anyways, this was very well written and I enjoyed reading this story.
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Review of The Firemen  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This was a good piece. I really liked how the singing styles of Dan and Ryan underscore the climax of the story.

While I was reading I found it surprising. At first I thought Dan was going to be the protagonist then he seemed to be the antagonist. In the end I guess it was more the situation that caused the conflict.

I hardly ever see stories where the people who are fighting resolve things and then deepen an existing friendship. That was certainly refreshing.
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Rated: E | (5.0)
This review is for Amethyst Angel🌸📝🪽 's entry "Five Piece For One and Two Piece For Two".

This is the funniest shopping trip I've ever read about. I have never had so much fun with math. I felt like this was something that Lewis Carrol would be proud to have inspired.

I liked that being inclusive was "written into the solar system." I also thought the store's equation for deciding prices was either madness or genius. It really illustrated just how silly and arbitrary rules at that place are.

There was a very amusing illogical logic to everything that happened in that story.

Not sure if it was intentional but the references to real world absurdities I found throughout this entry were highly relatable.

I couldn't stop laughing the entire time I was reading. Well done, no complaints here. Your writing is really good.
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for entry "Mix
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
This review is for the poem "Mix". I'm reviewing this poem as part of "I Write".

This poem is a description of what the unseen narrator was doing. It is eight lines and uses the words in the prompt. Thus meeting requirements for the activity it was written for.

What I liked: The idea that the narrator is both observing and participating in various events. The poem was simple to understand and follow.

I also liked the references to Dragon Vale participation. I think talking about the virtual world is a wonderful contrast to the very concrete nature imagery in the first stanza.

Suggestions: I wasn't able to identify any rhyming scheme or form with this poem. When I read this aloud I was unable to detect any rhythm to the poem. I find that unusual. Maybe, if you didn't mean for it to be this way, ask yourself these questions when writing a poem. Is there a form of poem I like or that is better at exploring the theme I'm writing about? How do I feel when I read this? Does the final poem match the guidelines for the type of poem I am writing?

Anyways, this is just my opinion after growing up reading and writing poems for homeschool. They aren't the last word.
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Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
What this poem says is very true and sad. I felt like you did a good job of describing the way politicians really are and how they treat those they represent.

I didn't find any technical things wrong. You followed the rules for Sonnets. Which is great because that's even harder than using C++.
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Review of Contest Entries  
for entry "Fish Limerick
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This is a cute poem. I only know a little about Limericks as a form so please don't take this to heart.

I've always had this idea that these poems were supposed to be funny. While this made me smile, I didn't find it humorous.

It put me in mind of the legend of Fin MacCool. The bit where he gets the vision by licking the fish oil from his hands. It kind of made me nostalgic for high school english class. In a good way.
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I really enjoyed the story! It wasn't exactly the Holmes and Watson or the London I remember from Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's work. Still a very thrilling narrative.

The steam powered soldiers were terrifying. I could almost hear the deafening clash of metal as they marched towards Holmes.

There were some aspects of the plot I had trouble accepting. Setting off dynamite in an enclosed space seemed a little dangerous for the person using the explosive. Also part of what gives diamonds their hardness is the way the carbon atoms are arranged. If you were to just plate something with carbon derived from methane, you could end up with some variation of plastic such as PVC, kevlar or teflon depending on what impurities were introduced. I'm going to assume thats not what Maxwell was doing. To make actual synthetic diamond in a laboratory is possible though, but they'd be yellow not clear.

Sorry, it's a minor detail. I'm just a fussy nerd who studied chemistry and physics as part of their undergraduate degree. I overlooked those details and just enjoyed the tale.

You did an excellent job setting the scene and building suspense. It held my attention to the very end.
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Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Thank you for including the lyrics to the song at the top of your work. I can't always understand people when they're singing.(For the longest time I thought Elton John was singing about "Kings and A Bag of bombs" every time I watched the 1990s Lion King.) I also enjoyed seeing that the embedded video works. I've noticed a lot of people are adding to the Soundtrack of My Life project. I am left curious as to why you chose this song. Was it playing on your iPad, radio or phone today? Was it in the background of some life shaping event? Or do you just really like the song?if it's too personal, you don't have to answer the question. I have to admit the music in the video is very retro 80s. I wish I could think of anything constructive but I'd say this is a good blog post.
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Rated: E | (3.5)
I suppose I should've read the prompt first. This almost seems to fit the nonsense form, but it appears to be a slice of life. Is it Clara's or Clyde's?

They make an interesting pair. Clyde seems superstitious and Clara has a touch of whimsy.

I am wondering why a fashion designer would want to sow a prodigious amount of flannel to an umbrella. The notion is silly but I assume that's the point.

Two minor pieces of feedback. Clyde got food, is it supposed to be for a casino or from a casino? Either way Clyde ate it at the end.

My second suggestion is with your first paragraph. There are some words that seem unnecessary. We already know from the first sentence that it's Clara's peculiarities we are discussing. Maybe take her name out of the second sentence. It could read, "Anyone who knows her could tell you..."

You did do a good job of letting us know what Clyde did. I could almost smell the prime ribs. I could get a general sense that Clyde was really used to humoring Clara.

Overall, this piece at least brought a smile to my face.
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Review of First Contact  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I'm laughing so hard my ribs hurt.

This is better than Google translate's hiccups. This is probably exactly what our first contact is going to look like.

Very well done dialogue.
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Review of SMOKEY'S LESSON  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Well the ending of this story did give me a chuckle.

Your story telling was very descriptive. I felt like I was in the woods with you and the other two Jims. The statement by Schwartz-B, "You know Smokey can already handle a shovel and now - you've just taught him how to use a rake!" Was a nice punchline to end the story on.

I don't blame you guys for scaring off the bear. Even if it wasn't actively looking to attack you, it's still better to frighten a predator than end up inside one.

Excellent job on the narration. Can't find any flaws to fix.
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