today is the day

My life is at a stand still and I don't know which way to torn. It seems like everyone's else's life is on point. But me, I'm still searching for me . The me that I know is deep down within. I try to make the best of my days with smiles on my face and laughter in my voice and it works for a while. Then there are days like these where I want to cry all day, curled up in a ball. these days where my smiles are fake and laughter is limited.

At this point in my life, I try to figure things out on my own. And when I figuired is that everything happens for a reason. " But why me" is a question I ask often but never hear an answer. Everything around me seems so hard to do and others aren't worth trying. And yet hope is my furture but I have yet to see it. The light is way too far and the work is way too hard to do to reach that bright light. Then a day like this comes to view. A day where that success not fear away but yet it's out of reach. My success out of reach , my smiles are fake and laughter is limited.

Sitting here staring at the walls, my heart begins to race and fear steps in. My eyes are red and swollen from crying. My feelings today, as I sit here with smiles fake, laughter limited, success out reach, and staring at walls my heart racing and fear stepping in. I feel that I've given up and let my life turn upside down for one set back. Instead of trying I let defeat take over.

Now, I say to myself, now I need not feel this way. My life is not over and as I figure that out I remember the people before who went through pain and never complained. So should I, should I start today. I just realize that the things that don't kill me, makes me stronger. Now my smile is real, laughter is without limits, success is within reach; and I'm staring at the sky, my heart is at ease and fear has stepped aside. Defeat no longer lives here.