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Rated: E · Article · Comedy · #2310883
Hammocks are dangerous. They are difficult to climb into and to get back out.
To my fellow retired peers:

Cartoons, greeting cards, and stories depict a retired person reposing on a thin cut of semi-soft material held aloft with thin pieces of rope. They look content lying on a hammock but have missed the mark. Climbing into a hammock is precarious at best. It is even more difficult to maneuver out. Moving to make contact with the earth is a chore. First, you are just waking up from a long nap and still a little groggy. That condition leads to a shaky descent. Secondly, you may have been reading an engaging book tiring your eyes. Glimpsing a look at the ground is a feat.

I am alert for a few seconds when I wake up. Thoughts roll into my head and there is trouble getting the brain fog to lift. Risking bodily harm from a fall, I am wise not to mount the hammock at all. I opt for a nicely padded chaise lounge. The ones I prefer have arms on both sides which conveniently hold snacks and beverages. If I dreamed, I would select a nook in the world with warm sunshine, possibly in the tropics. The perspiration precipitated has the nectar of the exotic flowers and fauna found close by. It sounds heavenly.

I urge hammock haters to unite. Hammocks are more trouble and a hazard. Choose the lounge chair. Avoid a fall and injury. I am looking forward to counting you in.

Your friend,

Remove Hammocks Movement

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