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Rated: 18+ · Book · Personal · #1196512
Not for the faint of art.
#1009846 added May 8, 2021 at 12:02am
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Naturally
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PROMPT May 8th

Write about your favorite outdoor activities to do in the summer. Are there any activities you haven’t done that you want to try?

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Well, my only favorite outdoor activity in the summer is: rushing from an air-conditioned car into an air-conditioned bar; if the accursed daystar is burning, add "while shading myself as much as possible."

This is related to my only favorite outdoor activity in the winter, which is rushing from a heated car into a heated bar.

I do not like the outdoors.

Still, given a choice between being too hot and too cold, I will pick too hot every damn time, so if I'm going to do anything outside, it'll be in the summer. Of course, one is never given such a choice; either it's winter and too cold, summer and too hot, or a week or so in between when it's actually pleasant to be outside for five minutes when it's not raining.

Which is not to say that I never do anything outside. I just don't enjoy it as much as anything I can do inside.

Nor is there anything that interests me to try. Just as I have no intention whatsoever to ski in the winter, I don't want to windsurf, bungee jump, or zipline, none of which I've ever tried. People be like "aw, is little baby scared?" No. I just hate doing stuff outside; fuck off.

I want no long (or even short) walks on the beach, no hikes in the mountains, no swimming in the ocean. The closest I want to get to nature is enjoying the natural result of yeast feeding on sugars, and while I have no objection to doing so on a patio, there will be air conditioning close by.

No, I'm of the firm opinion that we evolved to build shelters for a reason, and that reason is that so we could use them. Don't get me wrong; I love nature. I'm a big fan of watching webcams of natural areas. Here's one of my favorites: The Brooks Falls Bear Cam  Open in new Window. from Katmai National Park, in Alaska.

You're welcome.

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