I'm Only the Trombone Player

Day One ~ May 17' 2021: Em-bark-ation Day

May 17th — Day One ▼

Day 1: Ft. Lauderdale – Arrive at the ship, get settled in, explore.

         I arrived at the ship in plenty of time to make the boarding call, in fact, for my taste it was a bit too early. The three stooges partners in crime very fine muses (There are you three ok with that? who pester instigate trouble lead me down a righteous path decided to make sure I made the boat. They claim I have been cranky, irritable, and "no fun whatsoever lately".

         So at precisely 4:51 AM this morning a Police Helicopter began orbiting my bedroom, the down-wash from its whirling blades blowing the bedding off me. As if that wasn't enough, it periodically flashed a searchlight on the windows, presumably to aid its landing. (Yeah, this part is True, now back to your usually scheduled fiction!) Turns out though it wasn't a police chopper, I realized that when six chihuahuas repelled into my bedroom, rolled me out of bed and onto a basket that hauled me aboard the chopper. My luggage, a five-gallon pail of sunscreen (chubby little bald guys have got to be careful), a trombone, and two cases of assorted liquor were hauled up after me.

         A quick chopper chopper ride to Republic Airport and me and all my stuff was bundled onto an ancient looking biplane. I was mighty shocked to see the pilot was a cigar smoking monkey — I didn't know Monkeys smoked cigars! All in all it was a very smooth flight, not counting the barrel rolls and immelmann loops.

Once we landed I was whisked away via a dog cart, drawn by yet another team of chihuahuas. (We must have a million little fellas on the payroll) The trip to the cruise ship was fast and comfortable, if a bit Yippie~Yappie.

I was met at dockside by our erstwhile Captain, who led me up the gangplank, bending to pickup a tiny umbrella, the Captain grimaced and said, "You'll be rooming with Andre," pointing out a trail of similar umbrellas leading further into the ship, "I don't think you'll have trouble finding your cabin."

I found the cabin easily — and a passed out monkey sleeping on the balcony. I woke him slowly by waving a fresh Mojito under his nose. He perked up right away, suggesting we go exploring.


I – AyeYiYi never realized there were that many bars on a Smooze Crip – errrr – I mean Cruise Ship!

Hey! Di...did you guys know Andre schnores (hic) snores I mean —

Nighty Night All!!

P.S. I almost gorfot, I t-took a picture of the pilot. Wanna share it with ya...