#1011608 added June 10, 2021 at 6:57pm Restrictions: None
Unabsolved (My Ignorance)
Snippets of memory left,
bits of film I cannot restore
or set to motion in the projector.
So, I stare at negatives filtered through light,
aimed to discern the small details, consider
what beauty still remains and how much
was lost since you said
my best wasn’t good enough.
The creases and cracks of memory
perfectly preserve pain,
of loss, especially
without you to help remember the shame,
and what revealed exasperation meant about us,
recalled perfectly only by outcome,
how you moved on. I still reside with pain
of never really comprehending your rejection,
unabsolved of the shame of my ignorance.
6.10.21
To Elinor B. who I thought was on my side, as mentor.
I think the pain from your overreaction forced me to spill a life of ink without true discovery on my misguided journey to self-worth before realizing you didn’t clutch it in your own ignorant hands.
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