Toe in the Water

What's in a Name?

What’s in a Name?

In the beginning, soon after the creation of mankind, God gave certain instructions to Adam. It seems to me that none of those instructions have been rescinded for I see the human race still pursuing those commands even today.

Take, for instance, the business of giving everything a name and consider this:

Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field. (Gen. 2:19-20 Nearly Infallible Version)

Now consider that we still name things as and when we discover them. Is this not merely a continuation of the process begun so long ago in that perfect garden? I would take things even further and claim that all of science is an extension of the naming process. We find things and name them, the better to classify them, reduce them to a size that we can cope with and then think about the relationships between the names that we have made.

This may be extrapolating too much from the passage but there is no denying that names can be powerful things. Many primitive societies regard names as extraordinarily powerful and keep their personal names to themselves, having other names that can be used instead for daily use. In this way they avoid the possibility of the true name becoming known by an enemy and then used to cast curses or spells against the owner of the name.

Of course, today in our advanced society with science to explain the world to us, we are above such beliefs. Yet names still hold a peculiar power. Perhaps Shakespeare was not as accurate as we thought when he proclaimed that "a rose, by any other name, would smell as sweet."

Consider your own name as an example. Now, I don't propose to research the names of everyone who reads these words and then expound upon the ways in which their names have influenced their lives, but I do offer myself as a guinea pig to this particular experiment.

As is not generally known, my name happens to be Clive Allen. A very ordinary name in England (although the name Clive is rare in America - perhaps Robert Clive, with whom the name originates, was not as famous here as he is in Britain), I shared this name with many others, one of whom was a famous footballer in the 1980s.

Because the English have a finite number of names, the practice began of adding names to ensure that confusion was less likely. I was given two of these extra names, to be inserted after the first name and before the surname, so that I actually have four names. One of the names given me was my father's first name but I shall keep this secret so that none of you readers will be able to use it for ju-ju against me. The other was my mother's maiden name, Matthews. I am told that this was done by my father, who felt that, since I was going to be a doctor in later life, I could hyphenate the two surnames to become the imposing-sounding Dr. Matthews-Allen. Oh, how our dreams for our children are so often thwarted.

So, my actual name is Clive H. Matthews Allen. Not a bad handle to be saddled with, you might think (unless you found out the H., in which case you might think, "Oh, poor boy"). Let us investigate further, for this experiment is hardly begun.

I am sure that in our schooldays we all discovered that names can be read backwards. This gives rise to some amusing accidents, Nodrog and Arabrab being a couple that I can remember from those days. My own name turns out to be Evilc Nella, or sometimes Evil C. Nella. Now I can see my friends sitting up and taking more interest. Ah, they will be thinking, this explains so much. To them, I would point out that this makes me the opposite of evil, not its embodiment in human form (well, that's my story and I'm sticking to it). Certainly, my mother, who always saw me as a blue-eyed boy (although my eyes are more a sort of gray), would have agreed with my interpretation.

This is not the only game that can be played with names, however. I noticed that one could attempt to pronounce the initials with the surname. This makes me Chmallen. Try to pronounce this and you will find that you are saying something very close to the word "chameleon". From that time forth, I became the Chameleon and continue so to this day, a sort of secret anti-hero of the imagination.

It happens to be rather appropriate to my character as well. I am good at blending in with backgrounds, for instance. In common with my adopted creature, I can assume camouflage in most situations and appear to others as the person they want me to be (just don't try me against a backdrop of tartan). We all have our survival strategies and this just happens to be mine.

I am a people-watcher, too, so that it might be said that my eyes swivel to take in all things, just as the chameleon is able to move his eyes independently of each other (one eye on the prey, the other watching for predators). Understand, I make analogy here. I'm not that weird-looking, honestly.

Then there is the matter of movement. The chameleon moves very slowly with a strange rocking backwards and forwards, so that he appears to be taking one step that is then half taken back, then completed. The effect is rather like a leaf trembling in the breeze and this, of course, is a part of the camouflage that the chameleon is so expert in. It is also a good description of the way in which I think. I am a slow and ponderous thinker, rarely leaping to conclusions, and my progress could be said to be slow and steady, with frequent checks to make sure I do not go astray. Rather chameleon-like, in fact.

You are reading the words of the Chameleon, dear friends. But that is not all. There is more in this matter of names still to come.

Many years ago, when I first discovered and entered the weird and wonderful world of internet chat, the great god Yahoo decreed that I should choose a name by which I be known. Of course, I immediately thought of "Chameleon", only to be informed that some imposter had already stolen that name. I tried many combinations but all had been taken. Yahoo even tried to help by suggesting I add a number but that was impossible; I am THE Chameleon and play second fly catcher to no-one.

Then it occurred to me that I could shorten the name; become an abbreviation of myself, in fact. So I tried the Cham - and it worked. I am the Cham, the Cham I am, numberless, not even number one, but the original, the only, Cham.

It was a little later that I noticed a curious coincidence within my chat name. The letters CHAM are a simple anagram of my initials, CHMA. Coincidence? Well, maybe.

Our research is complete, I am stretched out upon the operating table with all (well, nearly all) secrets revealed. Round and round the mulberry bush…


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