Rising Star Adventures and Beyond

Chapter One

This is still a work in progress, but I welcome any feedback.

Ruth Walker stood by her husband's bedside. Mike had been in the hospital for two weeks now. He had been fighting liver cancer for the past six months. Life had become a whirlwind of emotions since he had first gotten the cancer diagnosis. Now the doctors had given up hope and everyone was just waiting for the end to come.

Ruth stood there listening to the clocks ticking on the wall and the beeping of the machines monitoring her husband's vital signs, praying for a miracle with tears running down her face. She was startled at the sound of her daughter's voice as she had entered the room, “Momma, how’s Daddy doing?”.

“Not good, sweetheart, not good. The doctors have given up hope.”

Vivian, her youngest daughter, rushed over to hug her Momma. “I got here as soon as I could. I can't believe this is happening to us. Has Rachel gotten here yet?”

“You know how your older sister is. Everything has to be perfect before she goes anywhere, so no she hasn’t arrived yet. Grandma and Grandpa Walker came by earlier but weren't able to stay long. Grandma isn't getting around very well lately. You are the first one besides your grandparents to show up. The hospital staff is just trying to keep him comfortable and sedated right now.”

“Oh, Daddy! You can't die right now! If you do, you won't see me graduate from college and you won't be able to walk me down the aisle when I get married. I love you. You have to keep fighting this. Do you hear me?”

Just then, the nurse walked in to check everything. “Mrs. Walker, everything is about the same as it was an hour ago. Do you need anything?”

Ruth replied, “No thank you. The rest of the family should be arriving shortly.”

As the nurse left the room, she said, “Well let us know if you need anything.”

Ruth set her hand on Vivian’s shoulder, “I’m so sorry, honey. I wish I could make it better, but this is in God's hands now.”

“Pastor Ben! Thank you so much for being here!” Ruth exclaimed as she saw her pastor walk into the room. The pastor had a few moments with them and prayed with them, and then he was on his way.

A few minutes later, Rachel and her new husband, Frank, walked in. “Hi, how’s he doing?”

“About the same, the nurse was in here not long ago. Come here and give your momma a hug!” Ruth met her daughter halfway. “The doctors have given up hope, and they are just trying to keep your dad comfortable right now.”

“Have they said how long we can expect, Momma?”

“They really aren't sure. They said it could be today or next week. I am hoping for a miracle. God is still in control.”

“Well, Momma, if it is Daddy's time to go, it is his time to go. There isn't much we can do about it. Are you going to be okay if God decides to take him?”

“God, I hope he doesn't, but I imagine I will figure it out. We own our home. There are a little bit of savings that I can make do with for a while if need be. I just never thought I would ever be without him this way. Oh God help me!” She began crying again as the reality of the situation was beginning to set in. She was in shock and felt numb. She couldn't imagine life without her Mike in it.

Just then the heart monitor flat-lined. Rachel ran out to get a nurse or someone. Ruth ran to the bedside crying, “No! No! Mike don't leave me! I need you!” Vivian had fallen to the floor sobbing. Frank just stood there not knowing what to do.

The nurse came back in with Rachel to check the man in the hospital bed. It was true. He had passed quickly and quietly. Sobs were heard from the three women. Frank tried to console his wife.

All Ruth could do was a sob, “No! No! No! God, this can't be happening!”

Eventually, everyone calmed down enough to make necessary phone calls. The pastor came back to the hospital as soon as he had heard. Mike’s parents decided they would rather just view him at the funeral home. So many friends had to be notified. How was Ruth going to get through this? It felt so unreal and so sudden.

Ruth must have fainted because one moment she was crying over her husband's body and the next a nurse was standing over her checking her vital signs and Vivian was fanning her. She had never fainted before so wasn't completely sure what had happened. They insisted she go down to the emergency room to get checked out even though she assured them she was fine. Rachel promised to make sure the body got to the funeral home. They could make arrangements in the morning.

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Another nurse entered the room with a wheelchair. Her daughter and the other nurse helped her get off the floor and into the wheelchair. She was taken straight to the emergency room and was taken immediately into a room.

As she sat in the room waiting for the doctor, she sat there heartbroken and in shock. Tears quietly trickled down her face. She could not imagine life without her Mike. This just could not be happening to her. There must be some kind of mistake. Maybe this was just a bad dream.

The doctor came in, “I’m so sorry for your loss, Mrs. Walker.”

“Please, tell me this is just a dream and that my husband is still alive!” Sobbing, she pleaded with the doctor.

The doctor spoke with sympathy, “I am so sorry, Mrs. Walker. I wish I could tell you that it has all been a big misunderstanding, but unfortunately it is true. Mr. Walker has passed away. I know it must hurt deeply for you. Let me examine you and then maybe I can give you some medicine to help you rest tonight.” He went on to listen to her heart and lungs and examine her closely. “Yep, I think you just need something to calm your nerves and help you relax a little. I will have the nurse give you a shot of medicine and a prescription to take home with you. Please, come back to the emergency room if you have any more issues. Again, I am so sorry for your loss.”

Ruth managed to nod her head, but all she could do was cry right now. She felt like part of her just died with her husband. It wasn't long until the nurse came in. She gave her a shot and her discharge instructions. Then her daughter, Vivian, walked in.

Vivian asked, “Momma, are you okay?”

Ruth managed to shake her head yes and then drifted off to sleep. The nurse instructed Vivian that someone should stay with her mom for a couple of days until she could bear her grief. She explained about the medicine her mother received and some literature about what to expect during the grieving process.

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Ruth woke up the next morning on her couch. She had no recollection of how she had gotten home. She looked around and saw Frank, her son-in-law at the kitchen table. Then she saw Rachel set a plate of breakfast in front of him. Rachel looked up and saw that her mom was awake.

“Hi, Momma! How are you feeling this morning? You gave us all quite a scare last night. We thought we were going to lose you too.”

Then Ruth remembered the awful truth. “What did they do with your father?”

“He is at the funeral home, Momma. I took care of the paperwork and everything last night at the hospital. Are you going to feel up to going with us to make the funeral arrangements this afternoon?”

“Well, I think I should be there. I am still his wife. I know his wishes. Did you get my prescription from the doctor last night?”

“Vivian left to go get it a few minutes before you woke up.”

“Then I should be okay then. I will just take the medicine. I will be fine. It has to be done.”

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Sitting in the funeral home, waiting to be called in to make the arrangements for Mike's funeral felt all too surreal. She had taken a dose of the medicine the doctor had prescribed for her before they had left her house. She just felt numb. She was still trying to wrap her head around what was happening.

Mike’s parents, his brother, Vivian, Rachel, Frank, and Ruth were all in the waiting room. There was an awkward silence as everyone seemed lost in their own thoughts. Ruth had always hated the music played at funeral homes. It was always so morbid sounding. Today, however, it definitely fit everyone’s mood.

It wasn't long until they were called back into a room with a table in the center with enough chairs around it so everyone could sit down. Once everyone had found their seat, the lady at the funeral home began asking the standard questions. She got the details that would be put on the death certificate. They talked about plots, caskets, flowers, and services. They spoke of how he wore his hair and if he should have his glasses on. They set the times for viewing, the memorial service, and the burial. They discussed having an insurance policy that would cover the expenses.

Now they just needed to get the word to family and friends. They all agreed an obituary in the town’s newspaper would assist with that.

Ruth silently cried again. She felt so drained and exhausted. How could this be happening? She must wake up from this bad dream! She wanted to just scream and make all of this go away, but it just stayed like some kind of big dark cloud looming over her. The dates were set and arrangements were now made. It just didn't feel real at all.

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The day of the viewing came. Ruth felt as though she was wandering around in a daze. Friends and family visited her house and called. People had brought food into her house. She could not even tell you what kind of food or who brought what dish. People came and went.

Ruth sat and stared at Mike’s body in the casket. He looked so handsome laying there all dress up with his glasses on. It looked like he had just gone to sleep to take a nap. Surely he would wake up soon and explain how this was all a mistake. She still couldn't convince herself that he was dead yet even though she was looking at his body in front of her.

People, family, and friends came to the viewing and expressed their condolences. They signed the guest book and visited with others who had known Mike.

The viewing was over before Ruth even realized it. Tomorrow would be the funeral. Ruth walked over to the body and laid over it sobbing and telling Mike, “Please wake up!”

Vivian and Rachel both ran to their mother with tears in their eyes saying, “He’s gone, Momma. He isn't going to wake up!”

Ruth just fell into both her daughter's arms crying. She didn't even know how long they stood there like that. She didn't remember the ride home or going to sleep on her couch at home.

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When Ruth woke up, everyone was still sleeping. She finally felt like her head was starting to catch up. She finally comprehended Mike was never coming home again. She got up, made herself some coffee, and sat down with her Bible at the dining table.

Ruth took a sip of the coffee and opened her Bible to a random page. She began reading in Matthew 5, The sermon on the Mount. She read blessed are they that mourn for they shall be comforted. Right then, she didn't feel that was possible. Her heart was so broken. She continued to read a couple of chapters but found it hard to comprehend much.

Ruth closed her Bible, took another sip of her coffee, and began to pray. "God, Why did you have to take my Mike from me? I need him. How am I going to take care of myself? He has done it all of these years. You didn't even give me any warning. You just took him! What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to feel comfort in that? When he was admitted to the hospital 2 weeks ago, it was only supposed to be a minor surgical procedure. He wasn't supposed to die! I don't know what to do, and I am supposed to bury him today. I am so broken!" She was sobbing by this time. "Why did you have to take him now?"

Just then, Rachel walked in, "Momma! I heard you crying. Are you okay?"

Sniffling, Ruth replied, "I guess I will be eventually. I just can't believe your father is gone!"

Rachel gave her mom a big hug, "I am so sorry Momma. I know it was a shock to us all. I see your coffee cup is about empty. Would you like some more while I make breakfast?"

Ruth hugged her daughter back, "Yes, please, that would be nice."

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I need to squeeze in the story of the fellowship lunch before the funeral here.

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There was a large number of people at the funeral. Ruth was glad there was a guestbook because she knew she wouldn't remember half of them. She felt as though she was in another world, in another reality.

She sat on the front pew in the chapel with her daughters. The coffin they had chosen was simple but pretty. It was a metal, light blue, simple coffin. The flower arrangement on top went with the color well. Mike would have loved it. They had a picture of him beside the coffin and other flower arrangements sent by others were displayed around the coffin and the stage.

There was a picture video playing in the front with memories from Mike's life. Apparently one of her daughters had gotten into her photos. She couldn't remember picking any out herself. There were memories that brought laughter and some that brought tears.

Soon the service had begun. There were a couple of Mike's favorite songs sung by a couple of singers from their church. They sang “I’ll Fly Away” and “Amazing Grace”.

A Decon of the church gave testimonies of how Mike had served in the church with him. A few family members said a few words, and then the preacher began preaching.

Pastor Ben spoke of the kind of man Mike had been and the legacy he had hoped to leave behind. He told how Mike would want everyone to be saved and come to heaven to see him when they had died too. He gave some details of the happy place heaven would be. He spoke of the alternative if your life wasn't right with God. Then he invited everyone to begin a personal relationship with God today if they didn't already have one.

After the preaching, they showed the picture video again. When the video was done, it was time to view the body. The ushers ushered everyone by rows to the front. Ruth's row was the last to go. She broke down crying over the body. "No! No! No! I don't want to leave you! I want you to stay with me. I don't want to lose you!"

It took a few minutes for the pastor and her family to pull her away so they could seal the coffin. Everything after this was a blur to Ruth. Everyone in the family was crying.

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Ruth doesn't remember how she got to the cemetery for the burial service. She just knows she got there. She couldn't tell you what the burial service was like. She was so lost in her grief, that is all she knew at that moment. People came and went. She and her daughters stayed there to watch the coffin be buried.

Her daughters offered to drive her home, but at this point, Ruth just wanted to be left alone. She felt drained, tired, and completely empty. She felt as though she was wandering around in a daze. She sat in her car until everyone had left.

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As Ruth drove home from the funeral, she knew life would never be the same again for her. She could feel the sunshine on her face. She had the window rolled down so she could feel the wind against her body. Her eyes were kind of blurry from all the tears. She looked at the kids playing in the park and screaming gleefully as they chased one another without a care in the world and she longed for her life to be like that again.

Ruth drove past the only restaurant in town and the smell of different foods cooking lingered in the air. She felt sick. How could she ever eat anything again? The ache in her heart was so deep.

She drove past the church. She felt so numb inside. She should have had one of her daughters drive to and from the funeral but Ruth just wanted to be left alone with her misery. Why did God have to take her Mike?

Ruth must have aimlessly driven around town for a while. She didn't feel like she was in her right mind. As she looked at the world around her, it looked like it had for years, but she felt disconnected somehow. She felt as though she was living in a different dimension in the same world as everyone else.

Ruth finally pulled into her driveway and parked the car. She sat there for a while just feeling numb. She didn't want to go in. She felt completely drained. She wasn't even sure if she had the energy to move. Her neighbor was mowing the lawn. She didn't even go to the funeral and they had been neighbors for years. The smell of freshly cut grass drifted her way. She just sat there listening to the mower. It gave her something outside of herself to concentrate on for a moment.

After a few minutes, Ruth decided to go inside. She didn't make it past her couch. She just sat there. She was too tired to cry anymore. Besides, she wasn't even sure she had any tears left. She wasn’t sure what to do with herself at the moment. Just then, the phone rang. She had been so lost in her thoughts, it startled her back to reality. It was Olivia, her best friend checking on her to make sure she had made it home okay.

The living room was simple. There was the couch she was sitting on with an end table at each end. On each end table sat a crystal lamp. There was one recliner in the room where her husband used to sit, she could still smell his scent in that chair. It sat between the end table and the door to the kitchen and dining room. There was a coffee table in front of the couch. The tv and stand were set across the room in front of the window. There was a knick-knack shelf in the corner of the room by the front door. The walls had been painted in a light turquoise color and there were curtains over the window with a little blue flower print to accent it. It was so quiet in Ruth’s house, you could hear the clock on the wall ticking. The floor was wood so you could hear anyone walking on it even in bare feet as you could hear the boards creaking with every step.

Ruth assured her friend she was okay and hung up the phone. She didn't want to face the bedroom. She wasn't ready for that yet. She always kept a couple of throw pillows and a throw blanket on the couch. So she laid on the couch with those. She couldn't sleep. She couldn't eat. She couldn't cry. She just lay there with an aching heart feeling very numb all over. She kept waiting for herself to wake up from this bad dream, but it just wasn't going to happen.

Ruth wasn't sure how long she lay on the couch or when she had gone to sleep, but when she woke up, it was in the middle of the night. At some point, her daughters had come back to stay the night. They were supposed to go back home tomorrow. She was thankful they had let her have a little time and space to herself.

The clock ticked on the wall. Ruth really didn't care what time it was. She was wide awake. She went to the kitchen, got some sweet tea out of the fridge, and went to the table with her Bible. She decided to just read from Psalms, starting with the first chapter.