The Raven Part 5: Hell On Earth

Chapter 5

"So you're telling me she actually started referring to you as her girlfriend first?!" Alexis asked as the four of them walked over a dusty ridge.

"Please, someone kill me now," Beth grumbled as she listened to Pam and Alexis talk.

"Come now, Kitten, there's no need to be embarrassed," Pam said, looking over her shoulder before turning back to Alexis, "That's correct, and it was simply adorable. She still gets flustered easily and her temper is still there, but I find it endearingly sweet. She's passionate, wild, and deadly. A beautiful combination if ever I saw one."

"I don't know whether I should feel flattered or like I'm gonna throw up," Beth said.

"I would hope the prior, love," Pam said, "It wasn't until Rebecca humiliated her in front of everyone that I began realizing that I too had feelings beyond simple ownership. The three of us stole away in the night, but it was her dear aunt who pointed out that I love her. When Aurora and Nastia showed up, I gave myself so that she and Jake could continue on. Of course the two of them couldn't just let that be, and they charged into her little hideaway to free me despite it clearly being a trap. We lost, but thanks to Dilatrix we walked away with our lives. It was after that, I vowed that no matter what happened I would protect her and Jake."

"Yeah, except you left out the part where you put Goth's ugly ass first," Beth grumbled.

Alexis had been walking with her hands behind her head while listening to the story of her friend's relationship. This wasn't the first time that Beth had made a comment like that. She may have been crazy, but she wasn't an unobservant idiot. She frowned, looked over her shoulder, and asked, "So what's with you two, anyway? The way I hear it, you two were a cute couple who loved each other, but clearly something is up."

"She called me a bitch, and chose that Amazonian super cunt over me!" Beth exclaimed.

"Beth...you can be a bitch," Alexis said, earning a snort from Jake, "And what's the story with this whole Goth shit? I'm guessing she's got something to do with the portals opening between this world and the living."

"I thought you were my friend!" Beth snapped.

"God this is still so fucking weird," Jake muttered, "Tell me again how you two ended up getting along?"

"She was secretly attracted to my good looks and charm," Alexis replied, earning a glare from Pam, "I'm kidding, Pammy, yeesh. Common enemies and all that old timey bullshit. We had a common goal which was saving you. What I want to know is why you two helped Beccy. I mean, Jake I get. He craves a woman who will dominate him. No accounting for taste, though."

"I resent that," Jake said.

"She's not wrong," Beth said.

"It's true that you do have a compulsion to be ordered around," Pam agreed, "I believe that is part of the reason my bossy girlfriend is your best friend."

"Hey, I am not bossy!" Beth yelled.

"Yes you are," both Jake and Alexis said at the same time.

"Assholes," Beth huffed.

"So what gives?" Alexis asked, trying to steer the conversation back to her original question, "Why did you do it, Pam? After everything you've told me, what would make you want to help the super-cunt?"

Pam sighed. She wasn't sure why she was even bothering to open up to this girl. Maybe it was Beth's trust in the psycho, or maybe it was her laid back attitude that made her seem easy to talk to. Whatever the case, deep down she knew that Beth needed to hear this too, "I did it because I knew that Rebecca would eventually find a way to return to power with or without my help. At the time, I rationalized that if I studied her grimoire, I could learn enough to best her. Ironically, I never even bothered to crack the damn thing. It was because of me that both of them suffered in Ravenfalls."

"Kudos on how you dealt with that crazy bitch, by the way," Alexis said, "Even Dorothy was baffled when parts of her soul started trickling into the Well. So if you didn't even use the book, why not destroy it?"

"Thank you!" Beth yelled, "That's what I've been asking. Tell her about the bag of socks that you've been using to play with yourself, Pam."

"This sounds like a kinky little tidbit," Alexis said with a wide grin.

"I have not used those anxiety inducing rags!" Pam snapped, "Rebecca left those to me as a twisted way of saying thank you for aiding her. All they have done is remind me of the mistake that I made."

"Then why did you do it?" Alexis asked, "If you were going to regret it this much, why help her?"

"Tell me something, Alexis," Pam began, "Do you know what it's like to spend years alone, then to spend years serving under someone in hopes of achieving something greater?"

"Nope," Alexis replied, "I'm Footgirl, and I only answer to myself. I do what I want, when I want. Fuck anyone who says otherwise, hence why I'm helping you guys!"

"What about back in the alley?" Beth asked.

"What about it?" Alexis countered, narrowing her eyes.

"Back then, you were all alone," Beth pointed out, "You were pining over Jake, and I can't see any other reason you'd walk right up to a loaded gun."

"Listen, Kitty-Cat, if you're gonna start trying to figure out why I do anything, then we'll be here for forever," Alexis countered.

"My point is," Pam cut in, "I spent years under Rebecca's thumb. The things I had to do for her...they still haunt me. All for the sake of hearing a word of praise, and the hopes of rising above the little urchin that I was. I'm not proud of anything I did, but I suppose that some part of me is tied to her. I justified what I did by saying it was to protect Beth, but the shameful reality is that part of me is still under Rebecca's control. Despite trying to separate myself from my former teacher, all I've done is drive a wedge between myself and the woman I love."

"And now I'm sad," Alexis pouted, "Really kind of regret asking that...alright, hold up a second. You say you did what you did out of love originally, or so you thought, but really Beccy has some kind of psychological hold in you, right?"

"She's good at that," Jake muttered.

"Yeah, Ash told me about what she did to you," Alexis said, causing Jake to freeze.

"Ash?" he repeated, "You mean Ashley, my Ashley?"

"Pretty sure it's the other way around, but yeah Bilefoot herself," Alexis replied, "I found her when she first arrived here. She was pretty tore up over what happened up there, but she's been feeling better lately. No idea why, but Dorothy wanted me to try to recruit her. Ash said no, and I may be crazy but I'm not stupid. I'm not afraid of much, but I'd rather go toe to toe with every demon down here than face off against Ash."

"Where is she?" Jake asked.

"Jake, we're not here so you can visit more of your monster girl hookups," Beth said, "We're here to...wait, what was it you said Dorothy was planning?"

"She's using the rifts that we're created to funnel more souls into the Well," Alexis replied, "She's already top dog around here, but if she gets enough she'll be queen of this realm and Earth. Hell, with all the crazy shit your girlfriend over here has talked about she might try to take over other worlds too!"

"Magic isn't crazy, it is similar to science," Pam corrected.

"Yeah?" Alexis asked, "I don't recall ever going bibbidy, bobbidy, boo while I was working in my lab."

"Nobody says bibiddy, bobbidy, boo, you idiot," Pam chided.

"They don't?" Alexis asked, "Huh, just another lie told by the damn media…"

"That's from a cartoon, genius," Beth said.

"How can someone be this smart, and yet this stupid?" Pam asked.

"One in a million, baby!" Alexis cheered, "Anyway, like I was saying. Once Dorothy has enough power she'll be unstoppable. Hell, she's already a dynamo as she is now!"

"Alexis, where is Ashley?" Jake repeated.

"Jake, we really don't-" Pam started.

"Don't tell me we don't have time, or we don't need to go dammit!" he snapped, "She could help us, and I need to...I never...look I have to see her."

"I don't know, Jakey," Alexis said, "She's pretty tore up over you. She can't leave this plane of existence either, so seeing you might trigger something in her. Me, on the other hand, I'm free to go wherever I want!"

"So?" Jake asked, causing her mood to deflate.

Alexis frowned, and stomped off ahead of them. Beth walked ahead of the two of them, and shouldered Jake, "Why do you have to be such an ass?" she asked.

"I'm not interested in crazy!" he yelled.

"Then break it the fuck off with Goth, dickwad!" Beth yelled back as she tried to catch up with Alexis.

Jake stopped and stared after his friend. Pam came to a halt beside him, and he looked over to her, "You understand what I mean, don't you?" he asked.

"I know you've been seeing Ashley, and that you feel you need to speak with her," she replied, "That doesn't mean you have to treat the girl who's helping us and who's been pining after you like garbage though. I understand that you don't want to be with her, but that doesn't mean you have to be a jerk."

"I wasn't…" he began before sighing, "Dammit, how did I become the bad guy in all of this?"

"I've been asking myself the same question, Jake," she replied, "Let them talk for now. We'll catch up, and then we both owe them an apology."

He rubbed his face and nodded, "I guess you're right. Isn't it weird to you that Beth and her get along?"

"Everything since our time together started has been weird, Jake," she replied, "I've stopped questioning it at this point. All I want is to have Beth back, and to be rid of Rebecca once and for all."

Beth found Alexis sitting behind a large red rock protruding from the ground. The desolate wasteland of Hell was monotonous say for the molten rivers and odd rock formations. Before she could speak, Alexis asked, "Why am I never good enough for him? Why won't he just let me love him?"

Beth sighed and sat down beside her, "Cause he's a stubborn jackass, they both are."

Alexis shook her head, "You got a good one, Beth. Pam fucked up, yeah, but all she wants is to be with you."

"What makes you an expert all of a sudden?" Beth asked.

"As someone who's loved someone from afar for as long as I have, trust me," Alexis replied, "She's willing to take all your anger, hate, and bitchiness just to be with you. You ought to think about that."

"You saying I should just forgive her?" Beth asked.

"You expect me to believe you don't want to?" Alexis countered, "Come on, I've fought against you for a long time and worked with you before. Even when you're being a bitch to her, I can see it in your eyes. You love her, and you miss her."

"Stop calling me a bitch," Beth said.

"Stop acting like one," Alexis said with a grin.

"You're such an ass, you know that?" Beth joked, "I'm not saying you're wrong, but I can't just let what she did go."

"How are you gonna feel if something happens to her while you three are down here?" Alexis asked, "Will your pride and anger be worth a damn then?"

"Nothing is going to happen to us," Beth replied.

"You and birdie don't exactly have the greatest track record, remember?" Alexis said, "I'm just saying, is a grudge worth it if the person isn't alive anymore? Pam wants to make things right, but you got to give her the chance to do that. She'll keep trying whether you do or not, but I think the two of you are stronger together."

"I'm taking relationship advice from a loon," Beth said before sighing, "What is wrong with me?"

"You made friends with a nut job," Alexis laughed, "Don't go getting any ideas, though, you're still not my type. I bet you're pretty good at sucking toes, though, aren't you?"

"Oh my God, shut up!" Beth laughed, "Pam's the only girl I like."

"Then show her that!" Alexis exclaimed, "Fucks sake, Beth, just show her you still care. If you two want to have makeup sex, I got several places that would be perfect for it!"

"There's the crazy," Beth laughed, "I was starting to get worried, you almost sounded sane there for a minute."

"Don't insult me!" Alexis yelled, "I'm trying to help you, and you have the nerve to call me sane? Do I look boring to you?!"

"You look like a crazed mess," Beth replied.

"Thank you!" Alexis exclaimed, "You know I do miss going up against you and Jake. All those years of putting you two to the test were so much fun."

"I wouldn't call any of your old schemes fun," Beth said, "You're better when you're on the same side as us."

"Awe, is that your way of saying you like me?" Alexis asked.

"Don't make this weird," Beth said, "I'm just saying, I'd rather you be with us than against us."

"I'm not joining your little hero club, Beth," Alexis said, "The goody goody shtick is too boring for me. Our causes just happen to align, both then and now."

"So you get out of Hell, and go back to causing chaos?" Beth asked, "Why?"

Alexis sighed as she tried to find the right words to explain, "It's like this, Kitty-Cat, I'm what you might call an Agent of Chaos. Now before you go asking something stupid like, 'what's that supposed to mean', let me finish. Ever since I had that little accident at the lab, I've had this little voice in the back of my head."

"Yeah, that's called being crazy, Alexis," Beth said.

Alexis shook her head as she continued, "I thought the same thing at first. I mean, when you start wreaking havoc on the city and the voice quiets down, what else could it be? Then, one night when I was lying in my cell it spoke to me. It said that a new guard was starting tonight, and that it would be my chance to escape. It also said that once I did, I needed to be open to change. Sure enough, there was a rookie that was making her rounds that night. Pure coincidence, right? Wrong, because after was when that Tomboy brat took over the damn city! I had to actually fight on the side of good so that I could go back to being me. I tried to ignore it, but I kept getting these funny little nudges and whispers off and on about stuff. More than once, that little voice has saved my ass. Hell, the night you and I met in the alley it told me to go there! Said I needed to sit tight, watch, and wait and a purpose would reveal itself in the form of an old acquaintance. Three hours I sat on the damn fire escape waiting for something to happen, and right when I was about to give up you dropped down and gave me a show."

"So you do all this crazy and evil shit because a voice tells you to?" Beth asked.

"I like causing chaos," Alexis replied with a shrug, "I've learned to listen to the little voice, though. If it tells me that I need to do something, I do it. Doesn't matter if I think it's a bad idea or not. I do what I do because it suits me, and playing by the rules isn't my style. If it means helping you guys, then I'll do it. I'm not a good girl, Beth, never have been and never will be."

"So what happens when you and I eventually end up at odds?" Beth asked.

"I like that you see it as an inevitability," Alexis said with a smile, "You're probably not wrong. The fact is that at some point we are gonna be on opposing sides. All I can say is, don't hold back because I know I won't."

"You expect me to shoot you?" Beth asked.

"Awe, is that your way of admitting that you can't?" Alexis teased, "You do what you need to do, Kitty-Cat. Whether that be putting me away or putting me down, that's up to you. Either way, I won't hold it against ya for too long!"

"You really are insane, you know that?" Beth said after a minute of silence, "You'd rather risk me killing you than to change your ways. Alexis, you've got a lot of potential and you can do a lot of good. Why not use those talents to do something worthwhile as opposed to making mischief?"

"Boring!" Alexis cheered, "What do you want me to do? Sit in an office, deal with boring meetings, or maybe you want me to fight crime with you? I'm Footgirl, Beth, and that just isn't my style."

"What if Jake took a chance on you, would you be willing to change then?" Beth asked.

"You trying to use my love-life against me now?" Alexis asked, her tone darkening and eyes narrowing.

"No, you dunce-cap!" Beth defended, "I'm genuinely asking if you'd consider it if he was willing to give you a shot."

Alexis gave a thoughtful hum as she looked up at the rolling red clouds above. "Not like it matters," she finally said, "He's hung up and stuck up Beccy's big butt to even notice me."

"Work with me here," Beth said, "Take her out of the equation, and tell me if you'd be willing to change for him."

"Maybe," Alexis replied, "Can't say I wouldn't be willing to try, but if that little voice started calling I'd have to follow it."

"Even if that meant losing Jake?" Beth asked.

"I already told you, that voice has saved my ass more times than I can count!" Alexis argued, "What if I ignore it and something happens to me or Jake?!"

"Yes or no, Alexis," Beth said.

"I'd be willing to try, yeah," Alexis finally admitted.

"Then just try not to go totally loony until after we have this Goth bullshit dealt with," Beth said.

"Why?" Alexis asked with a scoff, "You gonna try to play matchmaker for me and him?"

"I might," Beth replied, "Not like you'd be any worse for him than Goth is, and at least I know you actually care about him. S'not my fault he's a jackass who can't see that, but I can at least try if you give me your word you won't do anything evil."

"You realize I'm crazy, right?" Alexis asked with a grin, "You're wanting the word of a basketcase that she'll do what she promises."

"Yes, Alexis, I am well aware of how stupid this sounds," Beth sighed.

"And I'm supposed to be the crazy one," Alexis giggled, "Alright, I'll give it a shot as long as you try to be nice to your girlfriend."

"Ugh, fine," Beth groaned, "But if she starts in on any of her bullshit then I'll-"

"Yeah, yeah, blah, blah, blah," Alexis waved her off, "Tough girl this, angry chick that, that's good enough for me."

"God, you're infuriating at times, you know that?" Beth grumbled.

"You love me," Alexis replied with a grin and hopped to her feet.

"I would hope that she isn't moving away from me that quickly," Pam's voice called out.

"Hey, Pammy!" Alexis yelled waving her over, "Nah, she's only got eyes for you. She told me so herself!"

"Oh my God, shut up," Beth groaned, turning a shade of pink.

"She's not my type, but she is cute when she blushes," Alexis said.

"Quite," Pam said as she and Jake walked down the hill to them, "Are you two feeling any better? We didn't want to interrupt your little chat."

"Oh yeah, thanks for that," Alexis said, "Been a while since Beth and I could sit down and talk. Sorry for running off like that."

"It's quite alright, Alexis," Pam said before pushing Jake forward, "I believe Jake has something to say to you."

Jake stumbled forward and turned to glare at Pam. He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, "I'm...sorry for being rude and insensitive, Alexis. A lot has happened since we last saw each other, and honestly I haven't been myself for a while. Anyway, I just wanted to apologize and thank you for helping us."

Alexis blinked in surprise before tackling him to the ground. She showered him in kisses and spoke between them, "Oh, Jake, thank you, thank you, thank you!"

Beth smiled and watched for a minute before pulling her friend off of Jake, "Alright, let him breathe."

Jake got to his feet and looked over at Pam, "That is exactly why I didn't want to say anything."

"Don't be an ass," Pam chided, "She doesn't have to help us down here, but she is."

"Didn't you have something you wanted to say to Beth?" Jake asked, turning the tables on his friend.

"I-yes, yes I did," Pam replied as she walked over to Beth, "I'm sorry for calling you a bitch, Kitten. I know you're angry and hurt because of our actions, and I shouldn't be so quick to snap. I don't want to push you further away than I already have."

Beth was taken slightly aback by Pam's words, "Pam, I-thanks. That...means a lot, and I accept your apology."

"Kiss, kiss, kiss," Alexis whispered.

"Would you knock it off!" Beth snapped.

"Kiss her already," Jake agreed.

"Oh fuck you," Beth said.

"Now, Kitten, we wouldn't want to disappoint our little fan club, would we?" Pam asked with a wry grin.

Beth blushed and looked away. She felt Pam's slender fingers on her chin, and didn't fight her as she turned her face back towards her. She felt Pam's lips take hold of her own, and for the first time in what felt like forever she felt herself melting in her arms. Pam's tongue slid into her own mouth, and a battle for dominance quickly ensued. She'd missed this this. It was something so simple, and yet it did wonders to lift her spirits. However, the serenity she felt was shattered when she heard Alexis, "Oh my God, you two are fucking adorable!"

Pam broke the kiss, leaned in, and whispered in her ear, "Don't be embarrassed, my pet, let them admire us."

Beth's blush deepend as she felt Pam's warm breath tickle her ear and hear the purr in her voice. "Jeez, no wonder you won her over with moves like that, Pam," Alexis teased, "That almost makes me want to see if it's as a good as it looks."

"Try it and I'll blow your damn kneecap out!" Beth snapped, earning shocked looks from everyone.

"I thought we were friends, Beth," Alexis mock pouted.

"You are," Jake said, "If she didn't like you, she'd have threatened to shoot you in the head."

"That's true," Pam said, "Now, if we are finished can we move on from this charming little stone yard?"

"Alright, but if you two need some alone time, I know a great spot," Alexis said, "Just on the other side of those rocks there is a place no one will-"

"There they are!" a deep guttural voice growled, "The living ones, and the traitor to our Queen!"

The four of them looked toward the direction of the voice, and the heroes' hearts dropped. On top of the hill was a small horde of demons varying in size and appearance. The one who'd spoken looked to be a hulking mass of a monster. Their skin was a deep shade of green, their eyes as red as crimson, and even hunched over as it was, it had to be seven feet tall at least. In its hands was what looked like an odd trident. The blackened iron it was molded from looked to have unique fittings for the beast's clawed hands, and the tips crackled with amber bolts of electricity. On both sides of the supposed ringleader were demons carrying swords, shields, and some sort of small cannon looking devices. The latter was perhaps the most concerning with their barrels glowing a vibrant shade of orange.

"I was trying to have a conversation!" Alexis snapped, drawing everyone's attention back to her, "Do you have any idea how annoying you little peons are?! I know you're ugly, stupid, and pathetic, but that's no excuse for rudness!"

"Kill the infidel, and bring me her head!" the large demon roared, "We shall feast on the remains of the living, and savor the taste of their soon to be tormented souls!"

"Goddamnit!" Beth yelled as she and everyone else dove for cover, "You really have a way with people, don't you Alexis?!"

A hail of energy bolts rained down on the area. The beams of energy crashing into the ground and rocks around them, and the sound of demons charging echoed behind the destruction. "First, they're not people, they're demons," Alexis countered, "Second, they're a bunch of asswipes!"

Beth drew her pistols, Jake readied his escrima sticks, and Pam began channeling her magic from behind their respective covers. One of the demons leapt over the rock that Jake hid behind, and he brought his weapons up in a cross to block its sword. He pushed the blade back, and spun one of his weapons in his hand and pressed it into the demon's chest. The edge of his weapon crackled with electricity, and the demon convulsed before falling onto its back in a sizzling heap. Beth peaked out from behind her cover, and fired several shots from her gun into the charging crowd. Some of her bullets ricocheted off of the shields, but many found a home in the skulls of the oncoming swarm. Pam brought up a barrier to prevent any more from closing in, and then summoned several skeletal limbs that burst from the dirt. The limbs snatched and attacked many of the oncoming demons, and those that were grabbed were drug down into the depths of the underground.

Alexis tucked herself into a crouch as the stranglers who made it through Pam's shield approached. She kicked off the ground into a leaping backflip kick just as one of the demons tried to surprise her. Her foot collided with its jaw, and it was knocked off balance midair. She quickly reached out, latched onto its ankle, and yanked it down to the ground with its head slamming into the rock. She performed a back handspring to avoid the blade of another demon that tried to surprise her. She ducked under his second swing, leaned out of reach of his third, and sidestepped a downward slash. She moved in and took hold of the creature's wrists. It fought to break her grip, but she was too strong for it. She forced its arms down, brought her leg up, and stomped on its forearms earning a distorted shriek of pain from the demon. The sword dropped to the ground, and she quickly retrieved it and drove it into its throat.

"See, these things are easy!" Alexis yelled.

Just as she yelled her taunt, the large demon with his trident aimed it at their shield. A large beam of amber energy poured from the tips and into Pam's barrier. It was followed by a volley of cannon fire on all sides. The bolts of hellish energy bombarded the barrier, and it began to splinter under the concussive force of continual blasts. "I can't hold it!" Pam screamed as the barrier continued to crack.

"Okay, so that's a new and annoying setback," Alexis admitted.

"Drink their blood, brothers!" the head demon cheered, "They are weak! Show them the true meaning of our power!"

"Oh shut up, you fucking blow hard!" Alexis yelled.

"We need to think of something, fast!" Beth yelled as she fired blindly into the horde, "I'm gonna run out of ammo if we have to keep this up, and we kind of need that to deal with Stinkromancer!"

The demons began marching towards them at an even and confident pace. Jake launched several of his blessed birdarangs at them, but he knew he couldn't just burn through them. Pam had fell back into using her chains to slay and stall their advance. Pam could hold her own, but Beth had a point. The more energy and resources they wasted here, the harder it was going to be to deal with Dorothy. He had an idea, but it was a risky one. He yelled over to his friends, "Alright, I think I know what to do!"

"If it's to stand out ground and fight, keep thinking!" Beth yelled back.

"No, you know how sometimes I get brilliant spur of the moment plans?" he yelled back.

"Yeah?" Beth replied.

"This isn't one of those times!" he yelled before diving out from behind cover and waving his arms around," Hey, over here! Look at me, I'm a target and fresh meat!"

The demons turned their attention to him, and began firing at him. He scrambled into a dash as the big one yelled, "After him, brothers! That one will earn us a nice reward and a place at our Queen's side!"

"Come get me, you ugly fucks!" Jake yelled as he darted off aimlessly.

"He's either insane or brilliant," Pam remarked.

"No, he's just an idiot," Beth countered, "Come on, looks like we're splitting up. We need to move."

Alexis watched as the love of her life performed what was, to her, a genius and breath taking maneuver. She took off after him yelling, "Jake, wait for me, you brilliant beauty!"

"Alexis!" Pam called out after her.

"Leave her!" Beth yelled, "There's no talking her out of...whatever the hell she's doing. They'll catch up with us, that I know. We need to move, now "

"What if they get overrun?" Pam asked as she jogged off.

"They're resourceful," Beth countered as she took off in the opposite direction, "They're stupid, but they'll survive as long as they work together. Hell, maybe this will finally give them a chance to talk."

"What about us?" Pam asked, "She was our guide in the wasteland."

"You've still got your ability to track magic, right?" Beth asked and Pam nodded, "We follow the trail, watch our backs, and press on. With a little luck, maybe we can find this Lilith chick."

"Perhaps we could stop and take advantage of one of those spots Alexis seemed so keen on," Pam offered.

"Keep it in your pants, hon," Beth replied, "We've got more important things to worry about than getting laid."

"Speak for yourself, Kitten," Pam grumbled.

"We make it out of here alive, and then maybe I'll lay down and be a good girl for you again " Beth said, "That's if you don't lie to me again and if you can keep from calling me a bitch."

"I said I was sorry!" Pam exclaimed as they headed down a dusty hill.

"And I forgive you," Beth said, "But I don't want you calling me that again."

"Fair enough," Pam said, "You know I love you, right Kitten?"

"Yes, and I love you too," Beth replied, "That doesn't mean that you can't make me mad, though."

"Those words are like honey, Kitten," Pam said, "I'll take your anger if it means you'll still be with me in the morning."

"I don't remember you being this cheesy," Beth said.

"Is that a problem?" Pam asked, knowing the answer already.

Beth grinned as they continued on, "Not at all."