The Trials of Chris-chan!

Chapter 2.5: Christmas Time in Jail!!!

It is early in December, and you are once again quite depressed because you just spent Thanksgiving in jail...and ate what could possibly be the WORST Thanksgiving meal you have EVER HAD!!!

On the day, you were expecting a grand feast, but instead, got a tray of some disgusting looking food! It was a tiny slice of Turkey, about a tablespoon of dressing, a couple of rolls, a salad, and a tiny teaspoon of Cranberry Sauce! You thought the amount of food they gave you is just enough to put a taste on your mouth, AND NOTHING ELSE!
As you eat this sorry excuse of a Thanksgiving meal, you think back to the times when you had Thanksgiving back at the temple. In recent years, you and your mother just simply unwrap a turkey Banquet dinner, pop them into a microwave, and ate that as you watch the "Macy's Thanksgiving Parade!" Sure, it wasn't much, but you and your mother couldn't cook much and if you wanted to, you would have to spend all day just clearing out all the clutter in the kitchen! After you finish this lame meal, you fought with all of your might not to hurl!

Some time later, you get more letters in the mail. Since you spent several months in jail now, you decided to respond to a lot of the letters by blaming Bella for betraying you! You also claim that Jacob sent out the Coronavirus to stop you from going to all of those conventions last year and forced you to swap with Sonichu and go to the conventions in C-197. You are still mad at Babscon for delaying it another year, forcing you to miss it again and not be able to attend one last convention before your tragic arrest! And since it was the Holiday Season, you decided to send your buddy Kenneth a Christmas Card, simply to wish him a Happy Holiday! He responds by asking how you feel about Null. When you read that letter, your blood starts to boil again and you went into a tirade. You first off told Kenneth that Null had no business posting about the bank transfer on the Kiwi Farms and, thanks to some random trolls, manage to pay your mother back in full for the money you took out back in August. You are also angry with him for allowing the trolls to steal your GoFundMe money because you worked so hard on the drawings and Youtube videos for the people that sent the money! You then decided to spill some beans about Null in retaliation for his betrayal! After you mail your response out to Kenneth, you start to feel good about getting even with that traitorous bastard!

Days later, you are told that you have a couple of visitors and decided to go see them. When you go into the visitor's area, you see an old man pushing around an old woman in a wheelchair. You recognize the man as Uncle Tom and the old woman as your Mother! Shocked, you ask your mother just what the Hell happened and she told you a tragic story. She said that on the week of Thanksgiving, she was driving to a family's house before a big rig seemed to have come out of nowhere and plowed right into her! She ended up spending quite some time in the hospital because of her injuries! You ask about the car's condition and she told you that, unfortunately, the van is now at the great big junkyard in the sky now! That's just great, not only do you need a ton of money to pay off the mortgage, but you need another big pile of money for a new car! Of course, the van hasn't always been in such good condition lately...in fact, the van is nearly 20 years old! You do remember how earlier this year, you and your mother tried to get a new vehicle, but thanks to the Dang, Dirty, Debt Collectors constantly sending you to court over credit card debt, you and your mother's credit score isn't exactly so hot and because of this, every dealership you went to has made it to where you have to pay THE ENTIRE PRICE for the vehicle before you could drive it off! This thought also scares you for if you leave this Hellhole one day, you weren't thrilled at the idea of constantly walking back and forth to town and back to your temple! As your mother leaves, you make another promise that you will send out more letters to please send donations to the temple!

Some time later, you were in your jail cell, bored stiff, until you get a message popping up inside of your head. It was a message from your imaginary husband Magi-Chan, telling you to use a Magic Marker to draw something on a wall to open up a portal into C-197! You manage to score some markers from Commissary and started to draw a portal onto a wall in your cell! As you finish up, a passing Jerkop notices and ask what the Hell you are doing and you proudly tell him that you are opening up a portal to another dimension. The Jerkop busts out laughing before stomping into your cell and yelling, "Let me tell you something right now princess. If you don't pick up a sponge and wipe this shit off the walls right now, I will show you my 'portal opening' abilities involving YOUR ASSHOLE AND MY BATON STICK!!!" Angered at this threat, you screech before you pounce on him! He turns on his radio and yells, "I NEED BACK-UP, I GOT AN UNRULY INMATE, REPEAT, UNRULY INMATE ON MY HANDS!" And shortly afterwards, a small army of Jerkops march in and grab at you with all of their arms and threw you into solitary as a clean up crew wiped down all the drawings on the cell walls. A few days later, you would be walking to the rec room, looking forward to being able to play another round of hoops with your old friend Bionic, when a couple of Jerkops stop you from coming in. You ask what the Hell is going on and they said that by order of the Warden, you are no longer allowed into the rec room for the time being because of your recent behavior in regards to your "portal drawings." You wanted to smite them right then and there, but decided to refrain for now and return to your cell, your blood still boiling from the confrontation...

Just before Christmas day, you get back on the phone with a random person. You blabbed about how you are a wonderful Goddess and you totally deserved to be awarded for all of the hardships you are going through. You also tell the person that you aren't taking too kindly to people calling you "lazy" simply because you haven't had a real job in about 20 years. You then hang up the phone and head back to your cell...

Christmas Day!

It was Christmas Morning and the prisoners were opening presents in an event hall. Each prisoner was given a random present from a random person. You would hope that despite the odds, you would get a gift that would help you cope with this Madness a little bit longer. When you get your present, you didn't hesitate and started to open it up with excitement! After you open up the box, you look inside of the box and notice that it was...a dirty, soiled wig! "What the Hell? A filthy ass wig? IS THIS SOME KIND OF A JOKE?!?" You ask angrily as everyone in the building busted out laughing at you. You then get up and start to head out, angrily throwing the dirty wig into a garbage bin as you storm out!

You return to your cell and curl up on a Turkish prayer rug, sobbing, and hoping that the Gods will feel mercy and get you out of this Nightmare one day...