ruwth is writing...

~ Two Hugs ~

When I made the decision to write about the two hugs I have in mind, I was once again in the throes of grief. My mother died on New Year's Eve seven years ago. The time has softened the blow but the visceral feelings remain and reared their head again this year. The two hugs took place at her bedside in the hours before her death.

Ugliness had happened in 2011 when my father died. It resulted in my being estranged from two of my siblings. As I headed toward Georgia to say goodbye to my mother, I was actually looking forward to reconnecting with my baby sister.

She was already there and had come without her husband. He would be coming later but we would have some time together and I was glad. He had been the root of the problems that had happened. I still loved my sister and thought she still loved me.

I won't go into detail right now about the moment I entered my mother's hospital room. I will just tell you about the hugs.

Actually, it should sort of be three hugs. The first was from my sister I had been on good terms with. If I had been paying attention, that hug would have clued me in.

She walked over to greet me but her hug was more of a formality than a hug and I was so focused on my baby sister, I barely acknowledged my "good" sister and ran straight away to the other.

I wrapped my arms around my baby sister but to my surprise, I discovered to my chagrin and dismay, I had embraced a stone. She stiffened so much it felt like hugging a statute except that a statute would have been cold and she was burning with anger and rage.

It left me stunned.

It was then I realized I was not welcome there.

In 2011, I had been the injured party. I had forgiven my sister and my brother. I had never expected animosity from them.

Even my "good" sister, after having spent a day with them, was giving me a cold shoulder.

For the moment there were no more hugs--just tense interactions--and rejection.

I opted to leave. I asked for a moment alone to say my goodbyes to Mommy. I told my brother I recognized they did not want me there and let him know I would go after I said those goodbyes.

The others were glad to hear of this and left the room.

When I was done and stepped out into the hallway, my brother beckoned me back into my mother's room.

Stepping out of sight of the others, my brother hugged me.

I felt loved.

I hugged him back and kissed his cheek.

I cherish the memory of that hug.

~ ~ ~ JESUS is LORD! ~ ~ ~

Word Count: 638
Written for "I Write: Enter the Second Decade"