I'm Only the Trombone Player

Day 1 ~ Andre's Five Day Mini Challenge

January 10^th 2022 ▼

January, 2022 "Invalid Item"  5 Day Mini Challenge

Ancient Technology - Antikythera Computes A Mystery

Named after the island near where it was found by sponge divers 115 years ago, the Antikythera mechanism is an incredible machine of finely calibrated gears that appeared to be technology not available until at least the 10th century—but the mechanism was at least 2,000 years old.

Then in 2016, it was found in Andre the Blog Monkey's luggage when he returned to Canada from a magical mystery ship vacation.

Can anybody shed some light on this mysterious object?

Ancient Technology - Antikythera Computes A Mystery

For century upon century every taverna owner, publican, bar and grill owner has sought one thing — the perfect pour.

The secret was discovered long ago, by the leading taverna owner of the Greek Island of Antikythera. Andreas of Antikythera was a cranky, miserly, miserable, really nice little guy, albeit a bit on the unshaven side. Actually, he was noted for his hairiness.

Andreas ran one of the best tavernas on the little Island, at least that's what he told everyone. There was one problem. His serving wenches (did the Greeks even have wenches?) tended to overserve their favorite customers. Which cut into Andreas' profit. Messing with profit and Adreas' gold was not a good thing.

Knowing he needed to get those heavy-handed ladies under control, Andreas set out to find a way to limit the amount that each could pour. Obviously, it never dawned on him to just get smaller glasses, no he needed to build a mechanism, so sophisticated that even his buddy Plato didn't understand it completely.

When Andreas first showed Plato the device, Plato was perplexed. Andreas explained it very slowly, over and over until his good buddy "Plate" finally grasped it, calling it the "greatest thing since sliced bread". Which made no sense to Andreas, there was no such thing as sliced bread. Andreas chalked it up to another overgenerous pour by one of his servers.

Along came the Second Messenian War, and Andreas found himself in a bit of trouble. Well, maybe a little trouble is an exaggeration. Backing the wrong horse during these days landed you in quite a bit of trouble. He needed to slide outta town real quick. Paying off the wenches, he sold the taverna to an unsuspecting Etruscan and vamoosed. Which isn't Greek for skipped out of town quick.

Just as the boat was about to leave the harbor, Greek Customs boarded. They were looking for technology being smuggled off the island. Andreas had no choice but to toss his invention overboard. Unlike Andreas, the mechanism remained undisturbed for centuries before being found by some guys sponging for drinks. No one could figure out what it did so they put it in a museum that housed other stuff that no one can explain.

It sat there, on a dusty, musty shelf until nonother than our fearless hero Andre conned everyone into believing showed everyone that he was a distant relative of Andreas. For some odd reason, the curators believed Andre and allowed him to leave with the mechanism. Which to this day sits in a glass case above the bar at "Invalid Item"