I'm Only the Trombone Player

In The News ~ Don't Eat The Chicken Nuggets!

"Trix cereal triggers ants to perform bizarre "death ritual""

From the NerdSnacks   Newsletter:

An interesting article that shows us the relationship between Trix cereal and dead ants. The article also provides insight into just how fastidious ants are. The ant's reactions are driven by ingredients in the cereal.

"So what inspired this macabre death ritual? It turns out when ants decompose they produce a fatty acid known as oleic acid, which also happens to be a component of the sunflower and canola oils found in Trix.

When living ants “smell” oleic acid they spring into action and—being the fastidious creatures they are—immediately cart the dead off to specialized “cemetery” chambers to keep the colony clean. The behavior is so ingrained that dousing a perfectly healthy ant with oleic acid results in the unfortunate insect getting “buried alive.”"

In Other News

For reasons beyond my comprehension, I have allowed myself to temporarily be dragged back into the workforce. One of the Principals in my former district is celebrating a happy event, the birth of he and his wife's first child! So he will be taking some time off to stay home and be a Daddy. Which is a wonderful thing!

Of course, a school can't be left without a Principal and a plan was in place to make sure this one wasn't.

Yup! Ya know what they say about plans and planning.

"You never run out of things that can go wrong." — Edward A. Murphy of Murphy's Law Fame

There was a substitute/acting Principal all ready to step in and save the day. Alas, timing and a job opening in another district robbed us, called her in a different direction. An offer no one could expect her to refuse.

So what is a beleaguered, harried, and desperate Superintendent to do? Yeah, that's it, let's call that grumpy music guy back! He's got the certificates and degrees. What could go wrong?

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So here I am a temporary/acting Principal in an elementary school (ages 4 to 10ish). My duties consist mainly of hiding in my office, drinking coffee, and the occasional foray into the wild looking stern. Sounds easy right?

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So far I have had to deal with a 4^th. young lady offering to get frisky with one of her classmates. For his part, he was shocked and dismayed at the offer.

A tree, that had been planted by the student body to honor a teacher was hit by a car (seems it jumped right in front of the driver). Try explaining to parents that the tree needs to be cut down and we can't replace it until Spring. (Yes, it was covered by insurance.)

A multi offender, a bathroom floor soiling urinator, decided to test the new sheriff in town. Bathrooms have a sign-in system, so we knew who it was almost instantly. He cracked just as quickly. The toughest part was what to do with our little perp. Both his parents work, a suspension would be a familial hardship. I gave him and his parents a choice. Suspension or two weeks of hard labor instead of lunchtime recess. He chose wisely and will be assisting the custodians with cleaning lunch tables after lunch. Which means I have to be in the lunchroom with him.

And, next week I have to do something I avoided my entire career — attend a PTA meeting.

And Now, What Kids Say

"I like your suit, it makes it look like you know what you are doing" ~ 1^st. Grader

"Mr. Cooper has more hair than you" ~ Kindergartner

Need to preface this one, I get into work about an hour early, always been my thing, so I have been doing my morning trombone warm-ups in the office. Kids who qualify (right now, everyone who wants it) are getting breakfast down the hall;

"It sounds like you are wrestling an elephant in your office." ~ 5^th. Grader

"Couldn't we just use some glue and stick the tree back together?" ~ 3^rd. Grader

From someone I expect is a frequent flyer to the Principal's office;

"If Mr. Cooper doesn't come back, can I have his stuffed eagle?" ~ 5^th. Grader

While going into the kitchen to pick up my lunch;

"Don't get the chicken nuggets, they stink!" ~ 4^th. Grader

This was supposed to be a two-week gig, about nine days because of the holiday. This morning the Sup called me, on my day off to ask if I might be able to extend my tenure. Of course, I asked, "by how much"?

Dead Silence at first followed by a meek. "I'm not sure, we have many covid related staffing issues and not many qualified candidates."

The Good News is that by law, I can only do this for 6 months unless I freeze my pension and take the job permanently.

The Better News? I'm sure the kids will have a lot more to say.