Short Stories and poems

Advice of a Werewolf 2

More advice on Human Predation.

I’m BB Wolf, a werewolf, and I am a Predator. There’s something empowering when it comes to devouring humans. The question though is why? Why do we eat humans? Let’s go through a few things.

Our species evolved to be Humanities’ Predator. This is possible, as most creatures have something out there that eats them. How we both became Sapient is a debate for some other folks. That being said, Humans best not be the only thing on the menu, or we only eat a certain number of human per month, out of a population ratio of 1000 humans per predator, at a rate that is less than or equal to fifty humans per year. This is because, as previously mentioned, Humans cannot be eaten every day, or else they will become extinct, due to not being able to replace their numbers fast enough, as it takes twenty years for the new generation to mature. To eat a human every day means that the number of Predators must not be so high as to cause the extinction of this source of food.

We cut some kind of deal. Maybe we aren’t the Top Predator, but instead we get the bodies of the dead, or the fatally injured, or seriously sick, or even tied up criminals. Maybe we are just a way to see to it that the bodies aren’t an issue, the very sick and seriously injured get quick deaths, and criminals are executed – painless deaths for sick and injured, painful ones for criminals. In any case, the population can sustain itself, normally.

We are Gods. The humans we eat might be sacrifices, or devotees that want to be one with us when they die. Also, since we are Gods, perhaps our powers include the means to make sure that the population of Humans doesn’t run out, by making sure that there’s food for them, high fertility rate, and perhaps recreating our favorite meals, so that there is no real decline in the population.

We took the place over, and as it turns out, we can indeed eat humans just fine – no bio-chemical barrier issues. In this case, probably not a good idea to eat every human we see – especially if we just took over. The gangbanger shooting at us is fine to eat, as they tried to kill us, but not the shopkeeper cowering behind the counter, as they’ve done nothing wrong. In short, be selective about whom we eat, especially in the beginning.

We are Secretly in Charge – Actually, let’s Scratch that pile of Crap! We Are Openly In Charge! Unless there’s a very good reason, like the Human population being well armed enough to wipe us out, Rule them Openly. Granted, if we’re vampires, or something similar, stick to the shadows, but make our Rule Publicly known. Seriously, why do Predators keep their Rule a secret in those movies and such? Even if we don’t Rule Publicly, at least be Publicly Known, if there are plenty of us.

Friends are Not Food – well, not while they are alive at any rate. Those sharks in that one movie – they have a very good point. Predators shouldn’t eat those that are their friends, unless there’s a very good reason to do so. Why is it in movies involving vampires and werewolves, those newly turned ones just attack humans that are family/friends? Zombies, being mindless predators, for the most part, get a pass, unless they are intelligent. An Intelligent Predator shouldn’t go after those they knew to be friends or family. Seriously – they should instead attack the one that turned them, and protect their friends and family.

We Enslaved Humanity – so we pulled it off that way. We somehow took over, reduced them way down the status ladder, down to the food pantry. Okay, it could happen.

Humans Don’t know that we are Predators. Okay, maybe we look harmless, like Rabbits. Cute, cuddly, no way capable of eating a human being. That could be done – but make sure that the audience knows, or at least suspects it.

We Don’t Actually Eat Them! Maybe we like Stomach Massages too much to digest the humans, so we let them out after a good rubbing. Okay, could be done.

We Only Eat Bad Humans. We only eat humans that have committed certain crimes, like rape and murder, and only if we’re certain that they did do the crime. Some folk do not deserve to live.

We Only Eat Sick Humans. Human has Stage 4 Lung Cancer – has no hope for survival, all other options exhausted. Maybe they just want to end it. To some, having the choice might be a mercy.

We Eat the Dead. Eating a human body is another, or primary, funerary practice, so that it doesn’t cause issues for the living. It’s just cleaning up.

Combination of the Prior Three Options. We eat Evil, Sick and Dead humans. Reasons are there.

Humans Taste Good. Given that humans are mostly crunchy bones, and such, they’d best taste really good. Seriously, if there’s a dead, freshly killed, cow-sized animal in front of a Predator, this had best be the reason that they go after the scrawny human that can run.

Well, this is BB Wolf, and at the moment, there’s a lovely shepherd trying to get my attention.