Meth: a Ticking Timebomb Gone Viral

What Makes YOU Happy? Are You Happy? And if not, why? Part 1

Today, I did the double...every second day weights, and every day I ride my bike. And after only one week, I can already feel my body changing. More muscle and less fat. More strength, less weakness...emotional, physical and mental.

Today, I attended my session with my Counsellor, Vicki. We spoke about the plan ahead and where she feels I might benefit, and where I thought I might. Then the question came up...what do I hope to get from coming to see her? I answered her question with a question (a typical avoidance tactic that she saw right through and immediately brought back to the original question). Damn, she is good...perhaps even better at sourcing the issues than I am at avoiding them.

Today, I conceded to a degree...she had me, and I knew it. So, I went along with her little plan (for now at least) to try and help me find what it is that is bothering me enough that I keep going back to a drug that I KNOW is going to cause me all the issues that it does. Then her next question...am I happy? To which I said, "Who is Vicki?" Another attempt at avoiding...and totally justified this time because this is a very difficult question...and there was some truth to my reply...who is happy? Really happy?

Are you? I'm talking to you...the person who might happen to be reading this blog...and if you can honestly say that you are, that may be the most valuable thing you can ever possess. But, if you cannot genuinely say that you are happy...do you know why? I know that this blog is about me...my trials and tribulations, but I'm interested in people, and not just in my own life. Input from others will help me more than you can possibly know.

Ask anyone you like what it is they want that will make them happy? Anything at all, and all they need do is say it, and it is theirs, I doubt that many could think of a worthy answer. Oh, in the first few seconds, we all THINK we know, but if you sit down and really think about it...don't rush because this is a HUGE decision...what do I want that I think would make me happy?

My thought is to put aside material things...they are just things, and if I chose a sports car or even to be rich (financially), I have serious questions as to if these things are going to bring me real happiness. We might think they would, and perhaps for some, this might just be true, but once the novelty of the sports car wears off...or the money runs out when you will come to realise who your friends really are.

What about world peace? Or a cure for cancer? So much more noble and thoughtful of those who suffer oppression or disease, but would this bring true happiness to you?

So, if anyone can tell me what it is they feel might bring happiness to anyone who may have this niggling feeling of being unhappy without an affinitive reason why (spirituality is for some the answer, but is, in a lot of ways, like a drug, and not something that I would consider for myself), PLEASE share. Or, if, like me, you have no clue, take comfort in the knowledge that at least you are not alone, and there are likely billions of others who are in the same boat. Not being alone might itself be the answer because using meth creates the feeling of being alone, no matter how many people there are in the world.