Chapter 2 of Norma's Handmade Banana Bar

Camping with Andre - June 13

June 13th - Monday


This week you and Andre are in charge of the kid's Summer Camp.
Give us the name of the camp, the age group you're working with, and a bit of background.

Camp Wuck-A-Muck called me a few weeks ago and asked me to take charge of this camp for a week, give the managers some respite. I asked Andre to help. He owes me a few favors, and I thought the kids would get a kick out of a having a monkey around for the week.

While I was planning the activities, Andre kept trying to work in drinking games, card games, asking to bring a dart board. He thought guns would be fun, cops and robbers.

“Andre, you do realize these are kids? Ages 8 to 10? They don’t drink anything stronger than Gatorade. Nothing stronger than Gatorade. Got it?”

“HIoasdf!”

“NO, no RedBull. Period. No energy drinks. They have enough energy bottled up inside each little body for three of me. NO!”

“HIPOnnl?”

“Perhaps we could bring Bingo, or Yahtzee. No Poker! And no darts. No sharp pointy things you can throw at each other. And no guns! Not even squirt guns, mister!”

“BORING!”

I sat him down, gave him the schedule. It was all planned.

Monday - get acquainted
Tuesday - hike to the top of Mt. Ellis
Wednesday - swim
Thursday - horseback rides
Friday - arts and crafts
Saturday - game day
Sunday - pack up to leave

Andre crumpled up that schedule, threw it in my face.

“Now that’s just rude. Behave, you, or you’re staying with Lilli at the Banana Bar. And you know she’s just getting back from being off a few days. So she’ll introduce you to that old friend, Manual Labor. You won’t have any fun here. What’s it to be? Stay here or behave and go to camp?”

Andre mended his ways, so off we went to Camp Wuck-A-Muck for a few days of fun in the woods.

The little munchkins lined up on Monday morning after their goodbyes to parents. Introductions all around as we all got acquainted, just like I'd scheduled.

Then it all went askew. I honestly don’t remember much after Andre sabotaged the entire week. But I do recollect something about a monkey hanging from the rafters of the meal hall, screaming at the kids to go wild. Then the campers having food fights. There is a memory of Andre leading a charge on horseback and a jousting contest. Arts and crafts were finger-painting graffiti all over the camp buildings. I didn’t realize children that age knew those words. The campers were almost ready to burn down the woods on Saturday night if I hadn’t called the fire department. They found those kids wearing nothing but their underwear, dancing around a campfire with Andre. They were using squirt guns to shoot vodka into the fire. The blaze was quite amazing, they say.

I do know we are never to set foot on Camp Wuck-a-Muck property ever again, or the law will be called. I don’t have much hope that I’ll be paid for the week.



W/C 489