Short Stories and poems

Damsels and Dragons

A Damsel in Distress finds a Dragon that’s a Knight in Scaly Armor

Prince Robert strolled to his prize, the woman which lay in the bed, as he slowly removed his clothes. His shirt, was gone. He was eager to pleasure Princess Alecia, and enjoy that hidden treasure of hers. He started to remove his pants, when suddenly –

“Stop!” the woman said.

“Okay, I can keep my pants on,” said Prince Robert. “For now.”

“No,” the woman said. “Stop this whole nonsense fantasy of yours.”


The scene shifted to a table in a basement that had half a dozen folks sitting around it. Prince Robert was really Bobby, the DM.

The lady that had been laying on the bed, was Alice, who had been playing as the group’s Cleric, and she wasn’t happy that Bobby had tried to force his DMPC upon her, again.

“I told you last time, I’m not interested in being forced into a sex scene with your guy,” said Alice. “Do you want your guy to be known as Prince Robert the Castrated?”

“But, it’s your Destiny,” said Bobby. “Your characters are to be married.”

“I think that she, and I for that matter, would rather be dragon food, than be part of another of your pieces of crappy erotica,” said Alice, as she picked up her character and spell sheets. “I’m leaving.”

“She has a point,” said a young man that had been playing as the group’s necromancer wizard. He stood up, packing up his things.

“Chris, why should you care?” Bobby asked. “You walk around with a bunch of skeletons.”

“You never asked her if she wanted to be Prince Robert’s Bride-to-Be,” said Chris. “You don’t respect her choice to say No to the idea. This is your third strike. Get yourself another wizard.”

“Another rogue while you’re at it,” said another.

“Get another barbarian too,” said a third.

“Even I’m sick of this, and I’m the bard,” said the final person.

They all stood up, packing their things.

“You can’t just leave,” said Bobby. “You don’t know how to DM.”

“Can’t be any worse than you,” said Chris.



Outside the house, Alice sighed, as she walked to her car. “Third freaking time!”

“I can think of other words, but I agree with you,” Chris said, as he walked up behind her. “I wouldn’t mind it if he’d asked and you’d agreed, but he never asked, and you never agreed.”

“Thanks,” said Alice, as she turned. “It’s just that – did you all walk out of the game?”

Chris looked at the others, who all nodded.

“We all like you,” said the barbarian player. “Bobby should not have done that shit to begin with. And my sister would kick my ass if she found out that I just didn’t try to support you.”

Alice smiled. “Thanks guys.”

“He did bring up one good point,” the rogue player said. “None of us are very good at DMing.”

“Try the pre-written stuff, and work from there,” the bard player suggested. “That, or we could post a Looking For advertisement.”

Alice sighed. “Well, I got collage in a couple of days. Let me know if you find someone.”

“Let us know in return,” said Chris. “Still, No D&D is better than Bad D&D.”

“Especially if folks aren’t having fun,” said the barbarian player. “Or if the DM is Bobby.”



A couple of days later, Alice was walking on the campus grounds, watching the various new students. A number of them weren’t human. Name a piece of mythology, and a creature from it, and as it turned out, said creature was real, one way or another. Since the Monster World revealed itself at the end of the past semester, there was a new interest in mythology – some of the stuff once seen as pure fantasy before actually had historical counterparts in the Monster World – like a group of sailors ending up on an island, and being trapped by a cyclops, or the feathered serpent of certain South American tribes, and the Egyptian Gods having real-life counterparts, among others.

That was when she was knocked off her feet, causing her to drop her books.

“Sorry,” said a voice. “My Size-Adjusting Device is having some issues.”

Alice turned her head, just in time to see a flash of light, forcing her to close her eyes. When the bright light was gone, she opened her eyes, to see a humanoid-looking dragon before her, with an embarrassed look on their face.

“Um, sorry,” they said. They knelt down, and started to pick up Alice’s books.

Alice looked at the dragon’s wrist, and saw a bracelet-like item. “Is that it?” she asked.

The dragon sighed. “Got it the other day. I’m having issues with it.”

“Why do you even need it?” Alice asked.

The dragon blushed. “Unlike some dragons, size-changing and shape shifting don’t come natural to me.”

Alice stood up, and was about to accept her books, when she got a notification on her cell phone.

“Um, one moment,” she said. Getting her phone out, she saw who it was from. “Better be an apology.” Reluctantly, she opened it, only to groan. “Him and his terrible erotica.”

“I have to agree,” the dragon said, looking over her shoulder. “Terrible spelling, grammar, and no understanding of biology. “

Alice began typing. “I told you – my character would rather be dragon food than be rescued by your self-inserted DMPC! Same with me! Stop sending me your terrible excuse for porn!”

“Do you mean that?” the dragon asked.

Alice looked at the dragon. “You read that?”

“Terrible habit, but, yes,” the dragon said. “Would you like to tell me about this wish to be dragon food?”

Alice sighed. “I don’t want to trouble you with my issues,” she said.

“I got an hour,” the dragon said. “I got time to listen. My name, in your language, is James Flametongue.”

“Alice Whitely,” said Alice. “I also have an hour.”

They went over to a bench.

“Do you know about Dungeons and Dragons?” Alice asked.

James nodded. “I’ve played a few games. I prefer Monster World’s version of it though, Dungeons and Monsters, but they are similar enough that folks can pick up the other one without much issue. So, what’s the matter?”

“The group’s former DM, Bobby, has this self-insert DMPC, Prince Robert, that’s always trying to have sex with my characters, like Alecia last night,” said Alice. “I mean, if he’d discussed it with me, and I had said yes, it would have been one thing, or if I had said no and they’d respected it, I wouldn’t have an issue. Instead, they just keep placing my character in these “Damsel in Distress” types of scenarios where his DMPC shows up to be the Hero, and of course, he tries to have his way with her. Mind you, his DMPC is supposed to be a Paladin, while mine’s a Cleric. I mean, it’s terrible when a Necromancer, and a Bard, and a Barbarian, and a Rogue, are all shocked at the actions of a Paladin, and their intentions for a Cleric.”

“Sounds like a horror story,” said James.

“Well, me and the rest of the group just walked out on him the other day after his last attempt,” said Alice. “Told him that both my character and I would rather be dragon food than become part of another one of his crappy pieces of erotica.”

“I don’t know,” said James. “Most monsters that can swallow others learn how to control their stomach acid productions. I could easily swallow you, not to mention several others, and you’d be fine for several hours, days even, if I’d had a big meal prior, and made sure that you were well fed during that time.”

“Could you really do that?” Alice asked.

James grinned. “It’s very fun, for both parties, normally.”

“Something to think on,” said Alice.

“Still, if you’re looking for a group, I host a game at my place,” James said. He reached into a pouch, pulled out a card, and handed it to Alice. “I’d have no issues adding you and your friends to my group.”

Alice looked at the card, and pocketed it. “Any special rules I need to know?”

“Most of the other party members have the Swallow ability, with, what we call, Stomach Protection,” said James. “Functions like the real life ability.”

“Um, is this a Good-aligned Party?” Alice asked.

James chuckled. “Of course. Might even be able to use your own characters, barring any level changes needed. I own almost all the books.”

“I’ll keep it in mind,” said Alice.

“Just let me know if you or any of your human friends plan on coming,” said James. “I tend to order food for the group, and I need to know if the food needs to be cooked or if you can eat it raw.”

Alice chuckled. “Useful to know.”



A few days later, Alice had set things up with James, and was waiting outside of his place, along with her friends.

“This place is huge!” said the rogue player. “My guy would be happy in a place like this.”

“As would mine,” said the bard player.

“I hope it isn’t too intimidating on the inside,” said the barbarian player.

“Are you sure about this?” Chris asked, as he looked at Alice.

“James offered to host us after I told him about our issues,” said Alice. “I think that we can trust him.”

Alice walked up to the door, which seemed to be inserted inside of another door, like a pet door almost. She knocked.

“Who is it?” came James’ voice.

“It’s me,” said Alice.

It was then that there was a light, like that of a doorbell camera. “Oh, hi Alice. I had tuned to the main door after the rest showed up. One moment.” There was the sound of a lock unlocking. “It’s open.”

Alice opened the door, and entered, followed by her friends. It was like being reduced to the size of a child, almost. She then saw a familiar-looking shape, standing in some shadow. “James?”

The figure came forward, and Alice soon saw her mistake. It was a lizardfolk-type of person.

“I’m not him,” the lizardfolk said, in a female voice. “Sally is my name. James asked for me to lead you to the game.”

“So, what are you, um, in game?” the bard player asked.

“Paladin,” said Sally. “You?”

“I’m Brad, the Bard.”

“Stan the Rogue.”

“Tom the Barbarian.”

“Chris the Wizard.”

“Well, follow me,” said Sally.

They soon entered a room, which had a few others, like something that reminded Alice of a Yuan-Ti Abomination, a Minotaur, and some sort of catperson, as well as an ooze-like person. In the back, there was a rather large shadow, with lots of shapes that reminded Alice of something.

“Slim the Yuan-Ti Ranger,” Sally said, pointing at the snake-like person. “Hank the Minotaur Warlock, and Felicia the Tabaxi Sorcerer.”

“Draconic Bloodline one,” said Felicia.

“Bork,” the ooze-person said. “Artificer.”

“He’s not very talkative,” Sally said.

Alice then watched as she introduced the human players.

“Um, where’s James?” she asked.

There was a deep chuckle. “In front of you.”

Alice looked again, and gasped when she finally realized that she was looking at James, in his true form. “I guess you’re not wearing your Size-Adjusting Device,” she said.

James chuckled. “Don’t need it in my own home.” He turned his head. “Sally, could you check their Character sheets for me and pass out new or clean ones?”

Sally nodded, as she stood up.

James looked at the rest. “We’re Level 7 at the moment.”

“So, why are you checking the sheets instead of him?” Chris asked, as the lizardlady looked his over, passing him a pair of clean Character and Spell sheets.

“Bad enough habit to be looking over everyone’s shoulders at his actual size,” said Sally. “He doesn’t want to circle everyone, like we might be a potential meal.”

“Would he actually eat us?” Tom asked.

“You’d have to do something very serious for me to do that,” said James. “But, as I’ve informed Alice, I’d have no issues safely holding someone inside my stomach for a few hours. My sister likes doing that with her boyfriend, and he likes being swallowed. I tend to do that to symbolically remove a character from play, such as if the boss has swallowed them. Beat the boss, I let them out. Don’t beat the boss, well, next time you face the boss, said boss might have either a hostage, or a new minion that looks a lot like the old party member. If you don’t want to go through with it though, let me know, and you can just wait in the bathroom instead.”

“But, you don’t actually digest them, right?” Brad asked.

“Not unless I want to get slapped with a Murder Charge,” said James. “So, who wants to talk about their characters? The party has been on a quest to battle a dragon that’s been terrorizing a farming village, and has made off with the Mayor’s daughter. The ransom demand, twenty of the Mayor’s prized cattle.”

“Why not gold?” Stan asked.

“The village’s money is in the livestock they produce,” said Sally. “Finest wool, cheese, meat, leather, eggs – if it involves an animal, they do it the best. That being said, the dragon hasn’t actually harmed anyone, yet.”

“Thus, we might be able to negotiate with the dragon, instead of just having to need to fight them,” said Felicia.

“Alright,” said Chris, as he finished adjusting his spells, along with the rest. “Let’s do this.”

“Good,” said James. “Now, to resume from where we previously left off.” He looked at Sally. “The Mayor looks at you and says, ‘Thank you for responding to our trouble. That being said, yours is not the first to respond to our call for help.’ He indicates the group lead by Alecia. ‘They have also offered to do the job. Perhaps if you were to combine forces, you might have a chance to save my daughter.’ What do you two say to this?”

Alice looked at Sally. “I say, ‘I’m up for it.’”

Sally chuckled. “I reply, ‘Likewise.’”



A while later, in-game, the party was traveling through a cave system.

“Chris, since you’re at the back of the party,” James said. “Give me a Perception Check, at Disadvantage, due to the lack of a Light source, as well as your lack of Darkvision, due to being a Warforged.”

Chris rolled his d20s. “With Modifiers, lowest is a 14.”

James grinned. “A Gelatinous Cube enters your space. Give me a Dexterity Saving Throw, to avoid being engulfed.”

“Alright,” said Chris, as he started shaking the d20 again. “As I do so, I yell out for help.” He rolled the dice onto the table. “11?”

“Ooh, so close,” said James. “You’re Engulfed, and thus can’t breathe – not that it matters to you, are restrained, and you take 6d6 acid damage at the start of the cube’s turns. Everyone else, you hear Chris’s character calling for help. Roll for Initiative. Chris, you roll with disadvantage, and tell me what your To Hit ability is with whatever melee weapon you have is.”

“Plus two, with a quarterstaff,” said Chris. “D6-1 for damage, or d8-1 if using it 2-handed. Also, I got a 3 for my Initiative.”

“Useful to know,” said James. “Because now, I have to remove you from the game, until they rescue you.”

“Okay,” said Chris. “Um, anything you want me to do?”

“Remove anything you don’t want to get soaked,” said Sally. “Trust me on that.”

“Basically, you might want to take your clothes off,” said Felicia. “Especially your shoes – he hates the taste of rubber and plastic, not to mention most types of cloth.”

Chris looked up at James. “So, basically, get naked?”

James gave a nervous chuckle. “If you wouldn’t mind. It doesn’t feel right for me. That, and your clothes would get all nasty and such. If you were merely naked, I have a shower with a hose attachment that you could use to get cleaned off with. But, if you really don’t want to remove your clothes, I could handle it if need be.”

“Um, I think I understand,” said Chris. “Um, is it safe?”

“He’s swallowed all of us at least once,” said Sally. “Once was even almost a TPK, with all of us, save for Bork’s character, in a monster’s belly. Bork managed to free us though.”

“It wasn’t too hard,” said Bork. “Got lucky with two Nat20s, with a great-ax, and as a Paladin – Draconic-bloodline Sorcerer, I was able to boost my Divine Smite high enough that, thanks to the Crits, and the damage rolled, I essentially split the monster in two.”

James chuckled. “That was a fun moment.”

Alice saw the grins on the other faces, as they were clearly remembering something enjoyable.

Chris was also looking. He gave a relieved sigh. “Um, is there a spot where we could do this more, um, privately? I’m not exactly comfortable taking my clothes off in front of others.”

James gave a polite smile. “Sure – we can do this in the bathroom, which I mentioned earlier. Sally, would you show him where it is?”

The lizardlady nodded, and stood up.

“Um, wait, could we grab him, and pull him out?” Tom asked. “I’m sure we could do that.”

“You can make the attempt,” said James. “However, not only will you take damage, but should you fail to pull them out, you’ll need to make a Dexterity Saving throw, which, if you fail, will result in yourself being engulfed. If you succeeded on that save, only you yourself will escape the grasp of the cube.”

Tom looked at Chris. “I’ll try to free you.”

“Good,” said James. “Nice to have a plan. Sally, please take Chris to the bathroom, and grab some clean towels that they can use to wrap themselves in, should things get messy.”

“Come along,” said Sally.

Chris followed after her.

“Let me know when you’re ready,” said James.

Sally soon came back with the towels.

Within a minute, Alice heard Chris call out, “Ready, I guess.”

James left the room. There was some muttering. Then the dragon came back, and resumed his position, stifling the occasional giggle. “Could you please not move around so much? I’m ticklish.”

“Very ticklish,” said Hank, with a chuckle.

“We spent a lot of time tickling him during that almost TPK,” said Felicia, with a grin. “Instead of Total Party Kill, we called it Tickling Party Kink.”

“Okay, back to the game, and give me your Initiative results,” said James.

The roll results were given, and James smiled as he looked at Tom. “Okay, you rolled the highest. What do you do?”

“I activate my Rage, and try to rescue my wizard friend,” said Tom. “I intend to pull him out of the thing that took him by surprise.”

“Okay,” said James. “Since your half-orc has Darkvision, I’ll allow the attempt to be done with Advantage.”

Tom shook, and rolled his d20s. He looked at them, and then looked up at James. “17 is the highest.”

James chuckled. “I was hoping that this would take longer, but, since you won the contest, you get a prize.”

Alice watched as James’ stomach contracted, and a bulge went up the dragon’s throat. James then turned his head, and Chris came out, landing upon a cushion that had to have been placed there for such things.

Chris chuckled nervously. “Well, that was fun.”

“I’ll say,” said Felicia.

Chris looked down, and a blush came upon his face, only for a towel to fly into it.

“Cover up a bit, so that you don’t make a mess of the chairs,” said Sally.

Chris wrapped the towel around himself, not that it really hid anything. He walked over, and sat in his chair.

“Good news is, Carl, you’re free to potentially get revenge,” said James. “Tom, you take-” he rolled some large dice on a separate table “-12 points of acid damage.”

“Reduced by half, due to being a Bear Totem Warrior,” said Tom.

James chuckled. “Yes, and your turn is used up. Alice, your turn.”

“I cast Light upon my shield, so that both me and Tom can see what’s going on,” said Alice.

James grinned. “Smart.”

“Probably should have done that earlier,” said Chris. “I even have the spell too.”

“We decided not to, remember,” said Alice. “After all, the rest have Darkvision, didn’t need it, and were guiding us along.”

“Right,” said Tom. “Just, annoying to be the first swallowed by a real-life dragon as part of a game.”

Felicia chuckled. “You get used to it.”

It took a few rounds, and while there were a few close calls, the party defeated the gelatinous cube, and no one else got engulfed, or swallowed for that matter.

“Well done,” James said, once the creature was dealt with. “Chris, if you want, you can shower off now.”

“Are there any other creatures up ahead that might swallow me?” Chris asked.

James grinned. “You know I’m not supposed to tell you about that sort of stuff.”

“Fair point,” said Carl. “Um, my clothes are still in the bathroom, right?”

James nodded. “Hose attachment is at your level. There should be more clean towels nearby.”

“Thanks,” Carl said, as he walked away.

Alice soon heard the sounds of a shower running.

A couple of minutes later, Carl came back, his hair somewhat damp.

“Alright, let’s resume,” said James.



After several more crazy things, the party eventually located the dragon in question. However, it was soon revealed that the dragon had been chased from their territory by a much more powerful, and eviler, dragon, and was also injured as a result. Thus, the dragon had been forced to raid the town, abducting the Mayor’s daughter because her family had the sort of animals the dragon needed to eat in order to heal up. The daughter herself came up with a suggestion and a compromise – the party would go after the eviler dragon, and the local dragon would let her spend the days with her family, only to return to them at night. The party agreed that it was a tolerable plan, for now.

“And, that’s where we’ll end for this session,” said James. “We’ll pick things up next week. Alright?”

“Sounds good with me,” said Carl. “The whole getting swallowed thing was a surprise, but other than that, it was fun.”

“I’m glad that you enjoyed yourself,” said James. “I look forward to playing with you guys again.”



A little while later, they were outside.

“See you tomorrow Alice,” said Chris, as he and the others went to their cars.

“See you at Tony’s!” Alice said, as she watched them leave. She looked at James. The dragon was sitting beside her. “Thank you for having us over.”

“My pleasure,” said James. “Who’s Tony?”

“A pizza place,” said Alice. “In case you and the others are up for it.”

“Sounds nice,” said James. “I might be interested.”

“I just hope that Bobby doesn’t show up,” said Alice. “That reminds me.” She pulled out her phone to check her messages, and groaned. “Seriously?”

“What?” James asked.

“He’s asking me where I and the others went,” said Alice. “We used to play at his place on these days.”

James snorted, smoke coming out of his nostrils. “Tell him that you found a DM who’ll only have you be the damsel in need of rescue if the DM gets your approval to do so. Tell him that your new DM can run a 10-person party, without the need for a DMPC controlling things. Also, tell him his knowledge of female anatomy is sorely lacking, and that you’ve met someone with a much more impressive package.”

Alice looked at him. “Really?”

“Blows to the ego, if nothing else,” said James. “Um, where is this Tony’s place at?”

Alice smile. “Let me send you the address. We tend to be there around 5PM.”

James head/felt a vibration in a pouch he had on him. He took a quick look. “Um, thanks.” He then looked at Alice. “See you tomorrow.”

Alice smiled. “Thanks.”

“Just to let you know, the table I prefer to use for TTRPGs is rather immersive, to the point that it feels like you’re there,” said James. “Useful for exploring certain desires in a safe manner.”

“What kinds of desires?” Alice asked.

“Like say a twist on the whole knight, damsel, dragon thing,” said James. “I mean, what if an evil knight kidnaped the damsel, and it’s the dragon that rescues her?”

Alice grinned. “Sounds interesting. See you tomorrow.”



The next day, Alice and her friends were at Tony’s. Alice sent James a Text. “What do you want?”

James texted back. “I’ll probably have a large party-sized Meat Lovers thing, and the others will probably share a large between them. Order what you want, and we’ll figure out the rest later. Be there in less than five minutes.”

“Okay.” Alice looked at her friends. “We can order what we want.”

“Good, because I want mushrooms and pepperoni.”

Alice groaned. “Leave us alone, Bobby.”

“Where were you guys?” Bobby asked, as he pulled up a chair, and sat down next to Alice.

“With a DM that lets us know that crazy things happen in their games,” said Chris. “Now, leave the table. We have company coming.”

“What DM are you guys talking about?” Bobby asked. “I asked the other local DMs, and none of them had you guys.”

“Sounds like either you’re lying, or you forgot to look into monster DMs,” said a voice that made Alice grin.

Alice jumped out of the chair, and ran towards James, who was wearing his Size-Adjusting Device, giving the now human-sized dragon a hug.

“It’s good to see you, James,” she said.

“Has that creep been bothering you long?” James asked.

Bobby got up, and walked up to him. “Just who do you think you are?”

“Someone who isn’t sexually harassing someone that doesn’t want to be sexually harassed in any shape or form,” said James. “That being said, I’m a nice guy, and I got you a gift.” He pulled out a book, and passed it to Bobby.

Bobby looked at it. The book was titled, “Writing Erotica for Dummies.”

“You might want to brush up on a few things,” said James. “Your knowledge of female anatomy is terrible, not to mention your grammar.”

“Really, and I suppose that you can write better?” Bobby asked.

James grinned. “I know my mother can. She’s the top selling author of erotica, and number twenty best-selling overall, at least in terms of Monster World. She even has a following in the human world, currently holding number twenty for erotica, and one hundred-fifty for overall authors.”

Bobby’s face got red as Alice and her friends started chuckling. Bobby couldn’t even get out of those fetish sites.

“Well, can you write better?” Bobby asked.

“I do that by not starting with the sex part,” said James. “You need some buildup, like them just having some regular fun together first, and it’s all a gradual buildup, until the moment is right, and even then, make it a gradual process, where they maintain eye contact, and they start with a gentle kiss, and hug, not even undressing, until the characters decide it’s time to do so. Even then, always make it seem like there’s a chance to back out. Never just rush it, take the time. The sex part should be the reward. Seriously, the way you write, it’s over too quick, exciting initially, but ends as a let-down.”

Cue more chuckles.

“I bet that you got some kind of kink going on with your games,” said Bobby.

“You are correct that I got a kink going on,” said James. “The thing is, I inform them of it. If they don’t want to do it, that’s okay – I don’t force them into it. Now, it seems that you wore out your welcome before I even got here. Perhaps you should just take the loss, and leave.”

“Are you going to make me leave?” Bobby demanded.

“Not my place of business, but let’s ask the owner,” James said, as he looked over at the guy standing behind the counter, their arms crossed.

“Bobby, just leave, before I ban you,” the man said. “You’ve been bothering Alice enough as it is, and I can see that this James dragon fella has a few more friends either here, or waiting to enter, than you do.”

Bobby looked out the window, to see James’ friends waiting outside, as if they’d been told to stay there.

“We’ll meet again,” he said. “This is just the beginning.”

“No, it’s the end,” said James. “Seems they’d rather play with me, and deal with my things, than with you and your things.”

Bobby growled, and left the pizzeria, avoiding the other monsters.

“I’m surprised that you didn’t just swallow him,” said Alice.

“Didn’t want to get in trouble for assault or something,” said James. “Humiliation works better on his sort anyways.” He then looked out the window, and motioned to the others, who started to come in. “Now, let’s see about ordering some pizza.”



A while later, Alice was walking home, James walking along beside her.

“I hope that you had a nice time,” he said.

“Aside from Bobby, I did,” said Alice. “I mean, he’s been a jerk for a long time, but none of the others know how to DM, and none of the other groups were accepting players. We’d all met up at Tony’s, we brought up our desires for a D&D group, and he offered to DM. It was like we all jumped on it. Only after a while did we see the Red Flags, and then he started targeting my characters with his DMPCs, and making his guy the Main Character. We’d quit him, but no one was open, and we’d be forced to go back to him.”

“That is an issue,” said James. “It’s one thing to put in a Healer, or a Tank, or a Skill Monkey, but let the Player Characters tell the real story.”

“The worst was the whole, ‘Your character and the Prince are Destined to be together,’ shtick he kept trying to force on me,” said Alice. “I mean, your whole Swallowing the Other Player because Their Character got Swallowed thing was weird, but you let us know, and the others said it was fine, and it seems that Chris enjoyed himself.”

James chuckled. “It can have that effect on folks.”

“Good to know,” said Alice. She looked at James. She had to admit, the dragon was attractive, both in his human-sized form, and his actual form. “Could you carry someone human-sized?”

“I could, but I’d have to be either full-sized, or I’d have to carry you in my pouch,” said James.

“In your pouch?” Alice asked.

“It’s like a real life Bag of Holding,” said James. “I can hold a lot of things in it, which are bigger than the bag itself.”

“Cool,” said Alice.

“Still, for flying, it helps to know where one is heading to first,” said James.

“Um, do you have a girlfriend?” Alice asked.

“No,” said James. “Why do you ask?”

“You and Sally seem close,” said Alice. “She does most things you say.”

“Her family has a long history of serving mine,” said James. “They were slaves originally, but these days, Paid Servants. That being said, me and her are, well, something along the lines of friends. Granted, we’ve had sex, so we are occasional lovers, when the mood hits us, when we get an urge that requires the help of another to scratch, but there are no real attachments there, and she knows this, and understands that we’re better off as friends.”

“So, basically, a Friends With Benefits situation?” Alice asked.

James nodded. “She likes the idea of serving a Might Dragon Lord, and being used by them.”

“Sounds like a Kobold in D&D,” said Alice. “They, and Lizardfolk, seem to serve dragons in the game.”

“Not too far off,” said James. “Lots of smaller and weaker reptilians served those seen as stronger than them in the past. It’s part of why our families are connected.”

“I see,” said Alice. She looked at James. There were thoughts going through her head, which caused her to blush, and turn away. It was like one of those stupid romance novels that some teenagers liked to write. “Um, would it be wrong for me to feel like I think I’m in love with you?”

James chuckled. “Sounds more like lust, or bad erotica. Still, among monsters, romance moves very quickly. My own parents married within three months after they first met. Separated ten years down the line, got back together ten years later, and they tend to cycle in that sort of pattern. I was conceived during the start of their tenth marriage, and they are seeing about having yet another go at it.”

“Um, how old are your parents?” Alice asked.

“Dragons live for a long time,” said James, with a sigh. “It’s part of why things between me and Sally won’t work out in the long run – she’ll grow old, die, and I’ll still be alive for another five hundred years, if not more.” He then smiled. “Still, we could be friends, perhaps with benefits. I wouldn’t mind rescuing a princess every now and then.”

“That does sound tricky,” said Alice. “To be alive for so long. Must get lonely.”

James nodded. “At least at my current age, I’m not comparing you to some relative I knew fifty or more years ago. My folks seem to be doing that with the current generation of monsters, even with my friends. Part of what you call History, they lived through.”

“I wonder what famous people they knew,” Alice said.

“Probably weren’t famous at the time, and it was probably just another day for my folks anyways,” said James. “Most of the time, the Monster World tended to keep itself away from the Human world, especially as your technology advanced very quickly, even compared to ours. A hundred years ago, we were still using single-shot flintlock firearms, because many had abilities that could replicate your lever action, pump action, bolt action, semi-auto action, and cylinder types of firearms. But then someone invented machineguns, and there was the Great War, and we realized that we needed to catch up, especially when WW2 occurred, with those nuclear bombs at the end. Currently, I think that we’re about even in terms of technology, and that’s in addition to our natural abilities. Of course, some of the stuff developed for war with your world soon had other uses – the one table I want, developed to plan out battles with your military. It’s now used for pretend battles in a pretend land.”

“Sounds cool,” said Alice. She soon stopped. “We’re here.”

They looked at each other.

“Okay, this is the part in those stupid romance novels where the guy and the girl kiss, before leaving,” said Alice. “Silly, right?”

James chuckled. “Yep. See you around?”

Alice smiled. “Yep.”

James was about to take his Size Adjusting Device off when Alice carefully placed her hand upon his wrist.

“Let’s at least try, to see if it does work.”

James chuckled nervously. “Um, alright.”

The two leaned in, in an attempt to try for a kiss, only for the door to Alice’s house to open.

“Sis, who’s that with you?” asked a young child’s voice.

“Yeah!” shouted another.

Alice groaned. “Little brothers, two of them.”

“I got the opposite problem,” said James. “I got older sisters, ten of them, which happens to also include my just slightly older twin sister.”

“Well, at least Bobby didn’t send me one of his stupid pieces of erotica,” said Alice.

“I could give you some of my mother’s,” said James. “She really is one of our top twenty writers overall, and number one in erotica.”

“Are her books that good?” Alice asked.

“She likes to build up the romance aspect before getting into the erotica,” said James. “She’s even in the top five for Romance. That might be why she’s in the top twenty overall.”

“You’re telling me that monsters like romance novels?” Alice asked.

James chuckled. “Mother always said that a good romance story was worth a fine wine. Given her collection of both, she might be on to something.”

“Something to keep in mind,” said Alice. She looked at him. “Well, good night.”

“Good night,” said James. He took his device off his wrist, became his true size. He placed his device in his pouch. “See you in class.” He then took off.



Over the next few weeks, Alice and James got to get to know each other better, both in the classroom, and out of it. James even offered to coach Alice on how to DM, so that maybe she and her friends could potentially split off with no issues, once the campaign was over. Alice had accepted, leading to them spending a lot of time together.

By this point in time, the in-game party was by the evil dragon’s lair. By now all the human players, save for Alice, had been swallowed by James at least once – Tom had even been swallowed in an attempt to save an NPC traveler from a Purple Wormling, and had even saved them, all by himself, or so the Barbarian thought – but the rest of the party got them out. Even out of game, Bork had started to talk to the others more freely.

“Alright,” said James. “There’s no turning back after this. This is your last chance to leave. All evidence indicates that the dragon is a full-grown Adult Red Dragon, and is very powerful for its age. Is the party ready?”

There was a lot of positive affirmation. Weapons, spells, potions, and everything else was all ready and prepared.

Alice was about to give her response when she got a text message. As she looked at it, her face paled.

“Is there an issue with your brothers?” James asked.

“Worse,” said Alice. “Bobby’s outside the window.”

James carefully looked from his position, and saw Bobby hiding behind a bush, specifically, one that wasn’t alongside the street, being along the side of the house. “One good thing for us, he can’t see me where he’s situated,” he said, quietly. “Sally, would you mind playing Decoy for a bit?”

“No problem,” said Sally. “Focus on me as if I’m the DM, which shouldn’t be too hard, given my position is towards James’ location anyways.”

“Okay, let’s make this very simple, because I’m going to break a number of rules, so no arguing about the rules for the time being, because this battle won’t count anyways, unless you want it too,” said James, as he typed something on his cell phone. “Only a Nat20 hits the dragon, and the dragon can hit you on even a Nat1.” He then looked at Alice. “Bobby wants a show, he’s about to get one. Time to Roll for Initiative.”

Alice grinned, as she rolled her dice. A Nat20, plus Dex lead her to be the first player in Combat order.

James rolled his. “Twenty-five for the dragon. Makes them first.” He raised his voice, as Sally made motions, to act as if she was him. “First up, I use Frightful Presence – Wisdom Saving Throws from everyone.”

“Um, 20?” Alice asked, with a grin.

“Anyone else got that or better?” James asked.

Everyone else had below an 18.

“Alright, while you’re not frightened, everyone else is,” said James. “As it is, this dragon’s hungry, and you’re looking tasty. The dragon lunges for you. Make a Dexterity Saving throw.”

Alice rolled the dice. “Uh, 17?”

“Not good enough,” said James. “The cleric gets devoured by the dragon. It’s up to the rest of you to come together to save her.”

That was when Alice stood up, and started taking her clothes off.

James gave her a look.

“Giving that pervert a show he won’t forget,” Alice said, as she removed her shirt. “Just no funny business, please.”

“Understood,” said James, as Alice quickly undressed herself. “Just give a nice, and loud, scream as I lunge for you. It should come fairly easy.”

Alice had to admit that the scream came out instinctively as James lunged for her, with his wide open mouth, all filled with sharp teeth. Thankfully, James knew what he was doing, and caused her no actual harm, as he sent her down his throat, and into his stomach.

“Two rubs for good, and a whole lot of slapping for not good,” said James.

Alice rubbed the dragon’s stomach twice.

“Good, now let’s enjoy the fun,” said James. “Door’s locked from the outside, meaning that you could leave, but can’t enter.”

Alice then heard some muffled sounds, almost as if it was Chris talking.

“The police? Don’t worry. I let them know that I was a game master that had a trespasser stalking one of my players,” said James. “Also, the police in this area are monsters themselves – a dragon engaged in roleplay with a pretend meal, nothing new to them, so long as I bring Alice up when they ask me to. They should be here in ten minutes, possibly less once the fool calls 911. Now, let’s see if you guys can make those Wisdom Saves on your turns. Alice, do make yourself comfortable – given how there’s only a one-in-four hundred chance for a hit to be landed with disadvantage, it could be a while for your character to be rescued.”

Alice decided to sit back, and, more or less, wait, as, from what she could tell, the rest of the party attempted to beat the dragon that had swallowed their party member.



Soon enough, there was a pounding on the door, from what Alice could tell. There was some conversation – Alice guessed that Sally had gone to talk to the officers. Alice then felt some movement, as if James was walking.

“Hello, you want to speak to me?” James asked.

There was talking.

“My friends and I are just playing Dungeons and Monsters,” said James. “Currently, the rest of the party is trying to rescue the cleric from the dragon they’re fighting.”

There was more talking.

“Oh, yes, I swallowed the cleric’s player, Alice, to remove her from play.”

More talking.

“Oh, the taste of clothes bothers me,” said James. “She took them off to make things easier.”

More talking.

“Yes, she’s safe inside my stomach,” said James.

More talking.

“Yes, I can do that.”

Alice then felt some pressure around her, and felt herself moving upwards. She was soon looking out of James’ open mouth, as a pair of arms caught her, and helped her get the rest of the way out. She found herself looking at what seemed to be an ogre, along with a centaur, both wearing the uniforms of the police department. The ogre walked over to a large-sized police cruiser, popped the trunk, took out a blanket-thing, walked back over to them, and handed it to her.

“Um, thanks, I guess,” Alice said.

“Come over here,” the ogre said.

Alice followed him, until they were fifty or so feet away from the rest.

“Mind telling me what was going on?” the ogre asked.

“Me and my friends were just playing Dungeons and Dragons, or at least a version of it, Dungeons and Monsters,” said Alice.

“So, what happened?” the ogre asked.

“My character got swallowed by a dragon, so I got swallowed by James,” said Alice.

“So, this was part of the game,” the ogre said. “Do you have a safety system set up?”

“Do a lot of slapping if we aren’t comfortable,” said Alice. “Rubbing is fine, but if you start slapping, James gets a bellyache.”

“Okay,” the ogre said. “Do you know that fella?” He pointed over at Bobby, who was standing on the other side of the street, nervously talking to the centaur officer.

“Used to be my group’s DM,” said Alice. “We had something of a falling-out over creativity issues, and he’s been sending me a lot of bad erotica.”

“Bad?” the ogre asked.

“The kind one isn’t interested in getting, and keeps saying that they don’t want to receive any of,” said Alice. She turned her head. “Hey Chris! Get my phone!”

“Sure thing!”

A moment later, Chris walked up to her. “Here you are.”

Alice unlocked the phone, got to the chat log, and showed them to the officer.

The officer scrolled through them. “So, quote, ‘I told you – my character would rather be dragon food than be rescued by your self-inserted DMPC! Same with me! Stop sending me your terrible excuse for porn!’ End quote.” He looked at her. “Seriously?”

“Kept forcing my character to marry his, and that sort of stuff, even after I’ve told him not to do it,” said Alice. “At least with James, he at least lets us know about the shenanigans, so that we could chose to go through with it or not, instead of just forcing them upon us.”

“I understand,” the ogre said, his eyes having a distant look in them. “I used to play 3.5 back in the day myself. I remember the time my Vow of Poverty Monk took out this one pirate captain. Ah, good times.” He looked at her. “So, are you having fun?”

“Alongside of James’ group, my friends and I are having fun,” said Alice. “James has even been teaching me how to DM, so that we can split off from James’ group with no issues at the end of the campaign.”

The officer looked at the phone again, specifically at the most recent message. He looked at the house. “Hu, that’s interesting.”

“What is it, sir?” Alice asked.

“Let’s just say that the Ogre Race in D&D is going to have higher Mental Scores after this, on all fronts,” the officer said. “I’ve made my Spot check, and I know that someone is in big trouble here.”

“It’s Perception these days,” said Alice.

The ogre chuckled. “Let me check with my partner – mind if I borrow your phone for a bit? Need to make a quick phone call, or two.”

“Sure,” said Alice.

She watched as the ogre walked into the middle of the street, to meet with the centaur. He showed them the phone. There was a look on the centaur’s face as they looked at James’ house. The two of them chatted for a bit. The ogre touched something on Alice’s phone, and the next thing Alice heard was the uncensored version of the song, “I Wanna Love You” coming from Bobby’s pants. The centaur snorted as Bobby hurriedly tried to silence the ringing without pulling the phone out of his pockets.

“Never liked that song,” the centaur said out loud.

By this point, Bobby managed to silence the phone. However, the ogre must have pressed Redial, because the song started up again.

“Just making sure that you were the one who has been bothering this lady, for some time apparently,” the ogre said. “Also, based upon the photo you sent her, there’s no way that you were just walking past when you, supposedly, all of a sudden saw the dragon swallow the lady. You’re looking at Sexual Harassment, and Trespassing based on these messages. Likewise, the lady says that being swallowed was simply part of the game.” The ogre looked at the other players. “Anyone else been swallowed by him?”

“All of us,” said Chris. “Rub his insides if we’re good, start slapping if we’re not. James squirms quite a bit when someone does that.”

“Not a bad safety system,” the centaur said. They looked at Bobby. “Now, if you had simply been walking by when you say said swallowing, we might understand that you misunderstood the situation. We’re going to give you that chance, right now, and we’ll let it stand as a big misunderstanding of some people playing a game you don’t know. Otherwise, based upon the messages, as my partner has said, you’re looking at Sexual Harassment and Trespassing at the very least. Understand?”

At this, Bobby, his face very pale by now, nodded, rather quickly. “Yes,” he said. “Just a misunderstanding.”

“You might want to get rid of any photos you’ve taken,” the ogre said. “After all, if you post them on Facebook, or whatever, there’d be stronger grounds to come after you.”

Bobby nodded even more.

“Now, leave, and don’t come around this place again,” the ogre said.

At this, Bobby took off.

Not even a minute later, there was the sound of a car engine turning on, and squealing tires.

The ogre grinned, and got out his hand radio. “Got a speeder on Main Street on Monster Side. Keep your eyes peeled.”

“Nail them one way or another,” the centaur said, with a chuckle.

They then walked over.

“That should take care of things,” the centaur said.

“Just close the curtains from now on, when you play,” the ogre said. “Even if the neighbors on that side aren’t in.”

“Understood,” said James. “Tell my sister that I said Hi.”

The ogre chuckled. “Sure thing.”

The two officers left.

“Sister?” Alice asked.

“The one that’s ten years older than me is a Sargent on the police force for the Monster Side of town,” said James. “Those two came over as a favor for her.”

“Useful to know,” said Alice.

“I’m going to be stuck egg-sitting for a while after this,” said James. “Still, worth it. I mean, you saw Bobby’s face when that song started playing?”

Alice started to chuckle. “I can laugh now.”

“Say, can we get back to the game?” Chris asked. “I mean, we still have to rescue Alecia from the dragon.”

“Alright,” said James. “Do we switch back to normal rules, or do we keep things as is?”

“I think As Is will be just fine,” said Chis, as he looked at the rest, who all nodded.

“Alright,” said James. He looked at Alice. “Do you want to continue being the Damsel in Distress, inside my stomach, or just simply wait in the bathroom?”

Alice chuckled, and dropped the blanket. “Let’s see if I can somehow distract you from the inside.”

James grinned. “Alright.”

Alice calmly waited as James carefully placed his jaws on her, lifted her up, and swallowed her down into his stomach. She gave him the indicated rubs. She felt movement, as James walked. Soon enough, the sounds of muffled gameplay could be heard.

“Alright,” said James. “It’s Alecia’s turn. What do you do?”

“I cast Light on my armor,” said Alice. “That way I can see.”

James chuckled. “I got something for that.”

Alice heard a swallow, and something landed near her. She picked it up. It was a small waterproof flashlight.

“You good?” James asked.

“Just wait until I get you with something that does some damage,” said Alice.

James chuckled. “Very well.”

It took a while, but with some smart maneuvering on the part of the party, and most eventually succeeding their Wisdom Saves, the evil dragon was defeated, and Alecia was successfully rescued, by Chris’s character of all people. As a result, Alice was brought up, and when told who had landed the final blow, Alice gave Tom a kiss on the cheek. Then, she quickly turned around, and much to his surprise, kissed James on the lips before he could lift his head.

“It’s the least I could give you,” she said.

James blushed. “Um, thanks.”



Soon enough, the session ended for the night, and everyone had left, except for Alice. She looked at James.

“You mentioned using a table that could let one explore their desires in a safe manner,” she said. “Do you happen to have one of those?”

James grinned. “No, but I know someone who does.”





The Vile Prince Robert was vowing threats of revenge as he was dragged away in chains, kicking and struggling. The Dragon Lord Lacobus Flamma Lingua snorted, smoke coming from his nose. He leaped into the air, flapped his wings, and flew into the Royal Bedchambers.

“It has been done, my Princess,” he said. “The traitor has been arrested, and will be punished accordingly.”

“Thank you, my good and trustworthy friend,” Princess Alecia said, as she stepped up to him.

“I shall be off now,” the Dragon Lord said.

“Wait, I must reward you, properly,” said Princess Alecia.

“What do you mean?” the Dragon Lord asked.

Princess Alecia undid a button. “Tell me, when was the last time you properly enjoyed a Princess?”

The Dragon Lord looked at her questioningly. “In what manner?”

“Any manner you want,” said Princess Alecia. “Sex, belly rubs, internal belly rubs. Enjoy me any way you want, so long as, of course, it’s safe for me as well.”

The Dragon Lord grinned. “That will be just fine.”

Princess Alecia walked over to a waiting bed, and got on top of it, a smile upon her face.

The Dragon Lord joined her, and gave her a gentle kiss. “Let’s take things nice and slow.”

Alicia smiled. She then spoke, as Alice. “Now, this is a Fantasy I’m fine with. Thank you, James.”

James grinned. “Let me enjoy my Hero’s Reward then.”

“Go right ahead,” said Alice. “This is better than anything Bobby ever wrote.”

James chuckled. He then went on to enjoy his Reward.