A Bad trip to the Movies the Series!

A trip to the Movies gone bad - Pearl

It was September 16th, 2022, and you are still fuming big time over what happened last week at the International Movie Theater. The movie Brahmāstra has made your blood boil so much that anytime you see a trailer ad for it, you yell and cuss up a storm! Even your family is still quite upset over this.

While you are sitting around the house bored, you decided to check in on your asshole brother and see that he is going to see another movie, Pearl!


With your blood boiling, you start to get your camera and equipment ready. Your girlfriend notices and asks what you are doing and you tell her that you are just getting ready to get back at that asshole brother of yours! Before she could ask anymore questions, your enormous gut growls and that can only mean one thing...a giant lunch is in order!


You have ordered the largest sandwich at the newest sandwich shop in town! You decided to sit in the SUV and eat the whole sandwich to yourself. Your girlfriend asks if it was really necessary to eat that much and you tell her yes indeed! After consuming your totally small snack, your girlfriend drives you and the kids to the movies. There, she realized the kind of movie your asshole brother is seeing and pleads with you not to bring in the kids because the movie looks horrible! You tell her that they are big kids now and can handle it. You go up to the ticket stand and you try to buy tickets for the movie. The lady asks how old the kids are and you tell her 1 and 3 years of age. She then tells you that because of a company policy, kids under the age of 6 cannot go into any R-rated features at this time. You then tell her that it is complete and utter bullshit and to just sell you the damn tickets. She again refuses and you snap, yelling, "Bitch, IF YOU DON'T SELL ME THOSE MOTHER FUCKING TICKETS RIGHT NOW, I WILL SMASH THIS GLASS AND..." Before you could finish, an army of security guards come out and shove you and your whole family away from the ticket stand and into the parking lot, telling you not to come back for the night. As you get back into your vehicle, your daughter is crying and screaming her head off after being scared by the incident. You tried to apologize to your girlfriend and she, in an angry tone, tells you that you better find a way to cheer the kids up and fast or your fat ass is sleeping on the couch tonight! You try to bring up Chuck E. Cheese's, but she says that they will be closing soon. Then, an idea pops into your head!


As you plow into your 5th big mac, your daughter is happily munching away at her chicken nugget happy meal. Your girlfriend looks at you with a disgusted look and says, "Really? This is all you could think of?" You nod happily and continue to feast on your food as the McDonald's secret sauce starts to work on easing your nerves...