Porthole

Welcome Naw Ruz 180!

26.มีนาคม.2566

To Zehra: "I try to get my boyfriend to eat what he orders. He is a bottomless pit though... I'm happy to eat 1/4 of what he orders if he eats the rest (I'm successfully losing weight.) as I was raised to not waste and to recycle (before it was 'cool'; we were poor). Food in Thailand is 'cheap' and plastic is an epidemic. So far to go to change attitudes. That said, shaming, blaming, fining only goes so far in this culture. Education is the key and needs to be bottom up and top down. That said 50 euros is nothing to a wealthy Thai. But a poor Thai may make 300 euros in a month."

Pannya is zoning and zonked out, eyes half open, resting, sweating. I used a wet towel to try to cool him off. I can't reach him when he's like this and he hasn't told me what I can do to help and I have no way to reach his family to ask them to explain.

It's 39C (102F) at 13:13. Love the a/c ... except when I don't. I want to go out but can't reasonably justify a walk. Humidity is 30% with a slight 11 kph breeze.

Death Is Nothing At All

         Henry Scott-Holland

Death is nothing at all.
It does not count.
I have only slipped away into the next room.
Nothing has happened.
Everything remains exactly as it was.
I am I, and you are you,
and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged.
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.
Call me by the old familiar name.
Speak of me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without an effort, without the ghost of a shadow upon it.
Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was.
There is absolute and unbroken continuity.
What is this death but a negligible accident?
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am but waiting for you, for an interval,
somewhere very near,
just round the corner.
All is well.
Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost.
One brief moment and all will be as it was before.
How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!

Be realistic[7]

we all die
yet some die twice
we all die
perhaps to meet again
we all die
savor this moment

we all die
but some never live
Live! Live! Live!

How we shall laugh
at the trouble of parting
when we meet again!

43 words Edited and posted: "We all die [180.7] 40w Mar#18" 

To Rosemary Karel Sinniger: I didn't care for [Brussell sprouts] until my sister made them properly. Broil and/or bacon. Never boil. Newer varieties are easier on the palate. Reconsider! 😃

25.มีนาคม.2566

Pannya didn't come home last night and I didn't sleep well. I don't know all the details, but he's depressed and resting in bed now.

We really need to sort some things out.

I didn't realize the rental contract goes until November 1st. We're paid up till the end of May. I think paying June and July would be best as that would give me flexibility for a return date.

By then... maybe the best way forward will be clear.

I want to be here in July. My present flight leaves April 7th. My visa goes till May 6th. Montana rent is paid through April. Udon Thani rent is paid through May.

Possibilities: transfer my money to a Thai bank. Find a place to move to by November 1st. SiSaKet must be considered. Khun Han? Ouch... Pannya's home town 30 minutes south of Sisaket and his home village 15 minutes south of that is very small and I cannot imagine living there. Sisaket may be a great compromise.

My effort to learn Thai is hobbled by my lack of focus.

CLON COTUM ...because the capital w, s and e were out of reach.

Thoughts: I dress like a professional in Thailand because that's how I wish to be perceived. It didn't matter much in Montana and it was problematic elsewhere at other times in my life.

Wednesday's lament

         ... green turns grey at sunset

6 I dress in Sunday's red
8 or pretty-in-pink on Tuesdays.
0 Lonesome blues of Friday come each week; but,
6 Yellow cheers up Mondays.

6 I'm not some messed-up clown,
8 can't turn my smile upside down,
0 and dare not strut in tan like officers.
6 I've never been The Man.

© Copyright 2023 Kåre Enga [180.6] (25.mars.2023)

24.มีนาคม.2566

A Blue Day = class.
I'm glad we spent 3 days in Vientiane; glad we didn't stay longer.

We rested then slept when we got home. Pannya washed the clothes last night. We hung them. They are drying. It may hit 39 (100F) today.

Coffee and chocolate for a late breakfast. Rice and pork for elevenses.

In a burial ground (Teresita)

stone pillars
names engraved in ayaguh.
the bones now bleached,
the spoken words keep dying
who will recite the prayers
a thousand years from now
who will listen [180.5] "Burial Ground, Teresita, 2003 [180.5] <40w Mar#17"  }

To Pumpkin (heartburn): "And yet there are some very sweet varieties that would do well in a fruit salad.

When I write I don't always put much value into conventions. Each language and culture categorizes things differently. Today... is a blue day (sky blue) in Thailand. That means nothing to Americans or Europeans.

The same thing with sex and gender (two different but related topics). Thailand and many cultures are much more flexible and acknowledge, tolerate and embrace reality. It's mostly Americans who are confused and insist on putting things like tomatoes into discrete boxes or smoosh them and call it ketchup/catsup."

23.มีนาคม.2566

Back in Udon Thani. This morning we walked to Wat Si Saket as it was only about 4 blocks away. I took a lot of pictures. A couple turned out fine. Also quick photo of the Presidential Palace.

Back across the border. Ticket seller couldn't say whether I'd have problems crossing so decided to take local bus, bridge bus and mini-van once on the other side. Not difficult. Just takes time. Visa until May 6.

"To rupali: Thank you. I really wanted to prime the pump so-to-say. Flash or short poems are perfect for that. Also... I've been very stressed recently and anxiety and depression has plagued me for years. Very short pieces are better for intense feelings."

Be Romantic

This is my need: to wake up next to the one who cuddled me all night, bad breath and all, body odor and all, there's nothing worse than lying alone, someday dying alone, Be my need. Be the one who keeps me warm (until I'm cold). [180.4] Edited and posted as "Be My Need [180.4] 40w Mar#16" 

43+w so later for two-bits and a shave.

I have no appetite so I eat less. I weighed myself: 79.4 kilo. I'm losing weight slowly, which is probably for the best. I guess my ideal weight is 75 k but I haven't been that in years.

To Lyn: "I dare not fall. My mother managed wonderfully until she broke her leg at age 97.

Me? My bones seem okay but my back went out last week. My father had a bad back; my sister has had operations. Sidewalks and curbs in Thailand are wonky and it's important to be aware and be careful... at all times.

We're home from Laos. Took mini-van and buses. Lots of walking. But walking is better than a tuk-tuk that damages my back."

Note: traffic in Vientiane is calmer and slower than Udon Thani. Easier to cross the streets. Vientiane seems to have more coffee shops and students than Udon. City is shabby for a national capital, much prettier than San Jose, Costa Rica though. Waterfront was disappointing. Nong Khai across the Mekong is much nicer.

The hotel was close to many things and about 3 blocks from the bus station. Breakfast was included. Mosquitoes were nasty. First night a loud guest kept me up; walls are thin. Area is quiet.

People seemed ignorant. Bus? Bus stop? Yes, there are buses! Locals seemed oblivious. Tuk-tuk drivers desperate or just plain greedy?

Border isn't bad... just a royal pain.

22.มีนาคม.2566

LAOS

after a long wait you arrive handsome hung and horny an answer to my longing life plays party tricks promises portend paradise I'll settle for the soft sea-sounds of your snoring [180.3] Edited and posted as "After a long wait [180.3] 38w Mar#15 [18+] " 

Breakfast is 7 - 9. Pannya got up early to eat! His stomach's a pit with no bottom. Back in bed before 9.

So we walked. Pannya hates walking; plus it was too hot; but there's a bus! Not that he would ask. Not that Lao locals would know or tell the truth. And he's always visited by car! Gen-Z and clueless.

So... we are running out of money. Fortunately a famous religious site took baht and gave me change. One can pay in baht here but at a very poor exchange rate. I have felt ripped off. Next time? Use bank atm or exchange baht or dollars for kip.

Pannya went out with a friend. I'm happy for him (as long as he doesn't stay out too late or mess up our morning-plans (Wat Sisaket, Presidential Palace are close for photo op) or mess with our trip back (60+110 = 170 baht). I have 340 baht (found an extra 100) and 1,000 baht as emergency back-up. There's little money for food; he MUST eat breakfast. I have 39,000 kip to keep; 18,000 kip to give Pannya for water (bottled water is essential; that should be enough for 3 bottles). I have $76 dollars for any emergency.

21.มีนาคม.2566

Had difficulty getting started in the morning. My goal was 10 am. We got our tickets by 11 and left around 11:30 getting to the border by 12:30 and then had to wait.

I'll need to give details later.

Taxi to hotel costs 400 baht. Bus to station costs 60 baht and the hotel is close by.

LAOS

First impression of Vientiane wasn't too positive. It feels like a shabby sleepy river town. At least it was fairly easy to cross the streets and cars slowed and stopped!

Laos (pronounced Lao) is country #45.

Prompts:

03/21/2023-"Poetry in my life "
03/22/2023-" After a long waiting."
03/23/2023-"That is my need."
03/24/2023-" In a Burial ground"

In my life

Mark was the song of my youth:
gleen as gleen can be.
Kev wrapped me with love:
layer upon layer.
Gare was all I ever wanted
to be — and could not be.
Pan proves that I'm
not dead yet.

[180.2] "In my life [180.2] 40w Mar#14" 

To Ann: And the rains answer the prayers of the dust. (dampens the day, steam baths the sweat, power-washes the grime away be careful with your wishes we whisper surrounded by mud})

20.มีนาคม.2566

The Baha'i day starts at sunset. It's already 180 B.E. in Thailand.

Groundhog Day/

Happy New Year. Regardless of the Groundhog's Opinion it's Spring. Have a great day.

Summary 179:
Blog views in 179: 7141-5670 = 1471 about 4/day. Few comments.
Pieces written in 179: 157+ (there are quite a few unnumbered and unedited 'serenades' for summer.
Present recognition: 512

LAST DAY OF 179 BE.

20.มีนาคม.2566

https://www.vox.com/the-highlight/23627382/progress-climate-change-poverty-globa...

Photo Passport for Pannya Two crisp $20 bills for border entry to Laos

Workers at Thai passport office, Photo shop, Money exchange were all wonderful. *bismile*

Pannya is becoming more invested in our relationship. Interesting development!

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