Neurodivergent here. All the disgusting things I do or think on display. Wail away. |
Past petulance from uninformed ignorance grows indifference, calm before I reach the undertow. Can’t near yet like Buckley until I realize purpose, reason to walk toward a blurry, hazy horizon. Nothing full framed comes into focus. But you were in there. I Imagine, devious, devising ways to self-destruct before any… (who weren’t witnessing a barreling locomotive — no switcher… steering off track) comfort sought in rust deep, blue water I strum words with hands flattening waves, tremors — swirling that slows me above waist, awkward arms raised like a ballerina unable to pirouette, slowed by thick, brackish, gummy bay bottom heading to a mouth agape, widening to expanding horizon, dazzling its dulling gold, washing infinite gems purged, bleeding into black outside the cold-wooded, guarded lake this scaly monster calls safe home. Scales thicken, shed words in songs forming, forgotten, drowned by brisk gales at my back (when I want to perform to the empty, driftwood beach at shore, collected fires and other passions burning to a gray, dusty lump, hardened by showers preserving evidence if any want memory back), reflecting flames once mimicking a sky, before truer purpose was new heat, fire claimed all I lack, black, won’t give back its light, while waves lift above my neck. Is it even tide yet? Timing wrong, I could go down to find Jeff’s secret world like an already decayed fish, past floating. 3.24.23 3.27.23 cluelessly edited post LSD trippiness Never done—but time is linear, a fool seeking secret portal, for the aliens who could come if I wasn’t so pathetic. My hand is numb from tap, tap, tapping my codes like riddles designed t seek random serendipity answers discovery. A book is coming…I keep telling myself…as all kinds of arbitrary deadlines near & pass…like blaring traffic. So, there’s that. |