This is my blog & my hope, writing daily will help me see my progress and log supporters. |
It started raining here in SE Queensland, at around 10.00 pm last night and it hasn't stopped all day. I have bedsheets and curtains that I need to wash and all this rain isn't helping me at all. In the sub-tropics, we don't usually dry our washing in a dryer, instead hanging it out on a clothesline. The clothesline I have is a locally made invention called a Hill's Hoist. I remember as a kid my friends and I would hang by our arms and get twirled around like we were on a merry-go-round. And when my kids used to come and visit me, sometimes, they would do the same. That very same Hills Hoist remains in my backyard and works just like it did the day it was installed around sixty years ago...a little trivia. At my meeting tonight, I got severely triggered. There was a couple there who spoke a lot about using meth and other drugs and although that is what we are there for, I felt those familiar pangs of want rising in my belly. It didn't last long and once the meeting was over, I forgot (well, I almost forgot) about it. This will be my reality for a long time to come...perhaps forever. Meth isn't physically addictive, but what it lacks in the intense physical withdrawal department, it more than makes up for in its ability to hang onto its victims for the long term...a lot like tentacles. I'm Ok and have no intention of using...not today and I hope, not tomorrow either. One day at a time is how I should take things, but I think tomorrow is beginning to require a little more forethought as well. Today, I managed to get through...albeit, with a slight wobble. It doesn't matter to me how I do, just so long as I do. Yesterday before the rain began, I did weights followed by a forty-five-minute bike ride. Back in the day when I had a fight coming up, there were days during the eight-week build-up that I just didn't feel like training, and the best motivator I used to force myself to turn up and do the work was to tell myself (about my opponent), "He's training today." Having had the previous two days off because I was so sore and fatigued from the previous three weeks in the gym and doing four straight days in the garden, there was no way I was NOT going to get out on that bike today (I do love those double negs) and let a bit of rain stop me. Some ride in the rain...whilst others just get wet...or stay home. Today, I chose to ride that bike, no matter what the weather, and not to use drugs...and that's a win-win in my books. |