This is my blog & my hope, writing daily will help me see my progress and log supporters. |
By the time we are teens, we are who we will be. Hardwiring comes from genetics passed down through generations, but is also laid down as our young minds develop. Damaged children will, by and large, become damaged adults, and will usually act out accordingly. I don't remember the specific age I was when it all began, but I vividly remember the incidents of abuse and growing up living with fear, which in time, became normal. Studies have shown that around 90% of people with Substance Use Disorder have suffered childhood abuse and/or neglect. Physical and/or emotional abuse and trauma become who we are...hardwired into our psyche. Many people recover from addiction, but in order to do that, they must first go through talk therapy and relive the trauma all over again. And that for some, is a very scary thing to do. I have a memory like an elephant and recall every single thing my abuser did to me from around the age of seven until I became too much of a challenge at around sixteen. These incidents have, so far, defined my life. And although I understand the complexities and have acknowledged that it wasn't my fault...that I didn't deserve for those things to happen to me, doesn't change the hardwiring in my brain like some form of miracle cure. Addiction is a complex and difficult disease to treat. There is so much stigma attached to being an addict that many who suffer won't ever seek treatment. Shame, fear of family and social rejection, along with how society and the law see and treat drug addiction as more a legal, rather than a health issue, turn addiction and Substance Use Disorder into a more deadly killer than if we all faced the truth and changed the way we look at the problem. You just have to look at the numbers of people of all ages who are dying in the US alone, to see it is an epidemic that society must change its attitude towards because if we don't, it could be your son or daughter, or brother or sister who might next be counted among the statistics. And it doesn't have to be this way. Not all addicts have bad upbringings and not all those who grew up having a hard time go on to become addicts. And I acknowledge that there must be at some point, ownership of the choices that addicts make every time they/we, choose to use drugs. Compassion and understanding go a long way, and are far better tools than arrest and prosecution, which only leads to permanent criminal records and for many, pushes them further down the path and away from treatment and a possible cure. At what point do we say, "This war is lost." Once we can acknowledge this is the case, the question remains, where do we go from there? What value do we place on the lives of our children? Over the fear-driven inaccuracies of what is falsely pushed by the government and media as what an addict is. I know what the solution is, but I also know that society is not ready to face the reality of what needs to be done to put the black market out of business and offer hope for change. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein). Isn't that what the war on drugs is doing? It is futile trying to arrest our way out of a problem that has more to do with health than it does law and order. When I developed Cellulitis a few years ago, I knew to get myself to the hospital as quickly as possible because it can, if left untreated, be life-threatening. Upon arrival, I explained to the nurse at reception that I was a meth user and immediately, I was treated differently. I was as calm as I could be under the circumstances and explained that I was no threat to the staff or to myself, and yet, the stigma I felt made me feel less than human. Once I was admitted, that stigma disappeared as the perception and the reality of who I was changed the attitude of those who treated my condition. I wanted to show that we are not all the stereotypes seen in the TV ad campaigns. That we are as varied as any other members of society and not much different to someone who appears with any other illness. I can see the path towards my own salvation. I know where it leads, I just have to find a bypass that will skirt around the obstacles that have so far blocked my way. I see things more clearly now than I ever have before...and, I am more hungry now for change than at any other time in the past. I think I can, I know I can...and this time, I will find a way. |