Meth: a Ticking Timebomb Gone Viral

Every Up Has a Down...Every In Has an Out

I am beginning to question my caffeine use after three nights of not being able to get to sleep until 3.00 am or after. Sure, I can sleep in late, but what is there to do between 10.00 pm nigh-night time and then? Television is Ok, if you don't mind watching re-runs of programs you've already seen umpteen times, spaced between blocks of ads that seem, at least at that hour, to go on longer than the show itself.

My new friend Bing has already advised me about screen time causing insomnia, so writing or reading on my laptop is not going to help me get some decent sleep. I'm exercising like a semi-pro, and while this should help me sleep, the caffeine I take to help me achieve this almost, but nowhere near professional (without the near fame nor the fortune) athleticism, counters the tiredness. To the point where at three in the morning, I am literally bashing my pillows with frustration. What a conundrum I face. The dilemma is caffeine really helps with energy levels and feelings of well-being during and beyond the one-and-a-half to two-hour sessions I do daily...as opposed to the rant you are now having to hear (apologies).

I could cut back on the dose, but then I don't perform as well and because of my addictive nature, feel I am missing out on that buzz I get from drinking this caffeinated and vitamin-charged insomnia bomb. As usual, nothing comes for free, and the price I pay for these ups are the downs after a few nights of low-quality, or not well-timed sleep, is this mole-hill out of a mountain effect...and the whine you are now being subjected to (again...apologies).

The symptoms from lack of quality sleep make me sluggish, cranky, whiney and even affect my self-esteem.

Quit the caffeine, I hear your best advice. Oh, sure and leave nothing but a baseline to compare what life was like before I became an utterly and completely sober citizen of society. Great Gatsby...what have I become?.

What's the point of living if I can't do my drug of choice...when I don't like the person I become when I consume alcohol...when I hate the taste, smell and cost, both physical and financial, of smoking cigarettes...am terrified of pharmaceuticals...know the dangers of becoming addicted and the likelihood of dying from opioids...understand that the only drug I would actually consider taking, MDMA, is going to be of extremely low quality, and in fact, purchased off the street in my country, will most likely contain zero MDMA, and instead, will be some form of copycat chemical that doesn't do what I expect it to do, and could kill me if I take more and more in the hope of finding that beautiful high I remember from thirty years ago?

Upon reflection (and the quality sleep I just enjoyed when I nodded off for a few seconds while writing this), I might be overreacting somewhat here, and because I wisely decided NOT to ingest any caffeine today, a good night's sleep may just change my outlook tomorrow...nigh-night everyone.