This is my blog & my hope, writing daily will help me see my progress and log supporters. |
There are more than four-hundred and fifty different mental disorders, and I think I may have just discovered another one...Egyptian Pharaoh Disorder...or EPD. Self-diagnosis, followed by self-medication has been my long-term go-to whilst trying to avoid my issues...but as Dr Phil would ask me..."How is that working out for you, Neil?" To which I would answer, in a sullen tone, "Not real well, Phil." And since I can no longer self-medicate and expect to lead a normal healthy life, means self-diagnosis has to go solo. Over the last week or two, I've been feeling a bit low. It's been a long time since I have been on holiday. Also, dealing with the loss of my Mom and the stress from having to wind up her estate, when I was already burned out to begin with, has taken a toll on my mental health. My main suspect was Bipolar Disorder because of the up-and-down mood changes that of late, have plagued me from one day to another. But without getting a professional second opinion, this was just a wild guess. Then tonight, whilst I was talking about how I have been feeling in my Tuesday group meeting, I think we may have figured out what the real culprit is. I'm in a rut...a King Rut. And upon reflection, is it any wonder? Not getting to sleep until 3.00 am and then sleeping till noon. No routine other than training each day. No job and no responsibilities have done nothing to elevate my self-esteem or promote positive mental health. I need to do something other than wake up late, eat, train, write a blog, eat, watch TV and (eventually) sleep...but what? The answer came to me like a revelation...I need to volunteer my time to help others. By having more responsibility and purpose, I hope to shake King Rut and cure my EPD. And in doing so, it will not only give me something worthwhile to do but help perhaps underprivileged and/or older members of my community...and I might even find some new friends. |