Meth: a Ticking Timebomb Gone Viral

Knock Knock...Who's There

It doesn't happen very often, but when my doorbell chimes, it fills me with a certain amount of dread and anxiety. I've blocked from my phone those who would have me back on their books as a regular paying customer, dependent on the product they want to sell me. The only other way they can contact me now is by physically calling into my house and knocking on my door...with the best of intentions, of course.

And so it was this morning when I heard the familiar tune go, ding dong. My heart immediately jumped into my throat, and in that instant, I felt a surge of adrenalin run through my body. Sitting here now, I am asking myself a hard question...what would I have done if it was a dealer and they had offered me drugs? In all honesty, I can't answer that because I am still vulnerable and in that instant, it is possible I may have made a bad decision. I wish I could say I would have told whoever it was to fuck off and never set foot on my property again, but those words are just a fantasy and I will never really know for sure what I would have done.

It is disappointing for me to have to admit that...and all I can say is thank God it wasn't a dealer. It turned out to be the couple from Tuesday's group meetings. They happened to be out on a walk and for the first time, called in for a visit. They are pretty cool, and we sat talking for a while before I asked them if they wanted to do a workout. And so the three of us trained together...rather than the alternative of if we had met six months earlier, when we may have instead been using drugs.

I remarked halfway through our session about that fact...and how much better it is to feel healthy and strong, rather than being a slave to a drug that takes everything away and gives little in return. We all agreed, I mean, it's so obvious, and yet, so compelling.

When I first realised we live no more than a few hundred metres apart, I was concerned about the possible negatives that might come from becoming friends with others who use the same drug (and I must admit that I still have some reservations). The rule of thumb is to avoid this kind of situation because if they relapse, that may influence me to relapse...or visa versa. So far, this hasn't happened, and as we continue our own individual journeys of recovery, my hope is the opposite will ensue.