Doves On Distant Oaks

Is it Sympathy or Empathy

We all try to avoid going to the hospital, but one time I got so sick I had to go for an extended stay. When they finally released me, I was so happy to be leaving that I could think of little else. Most of us are like that—so glad to be headed home from the hospital that our focus is only on ourselves. But as we were leaving, my wife suggested we stop and pray for those who weren't headed home, who remained in sickness. In the midst of our happiness, we stopped and took their sadness onto ourselves.

In His Sermon on the Mount, Jesus told His disciples that they would be blessed if they mourned. I had always taken that as mourning for our loved ones, our friends, or people that have touched us in a special way who had passed away. But that mourning is largely about us. We are sad because they are gone from our lives. While that's part of the mourning Christ is talking about, I have come to realize there's more to it. Jesus obviously wants us to take a more active role in mourning, but who are we to mourn?

The Greek word is pentheo, and in this context, means to be sad or sorrowful. So it's not necessarily to grieve for a lost loved one. As a matter of fact, there are a great many people for whom we can be sad and sorrowful. Aren't there enough people to be sad for as we drive past our local hospitals, old-age homes, homeless shelters, or alcohol and drug rehabilitation centers?

Does that mean we walk around being sad and sorrowful all the time? What about the joy we feel as adopted brothers and sisters of Christ? Certainly we should not forget our joy, but how difficult is it to take a few moments out of our joy to remember those whose lives aren't going exactly as planned.

And it's not just sympathy for others, its empathy. Sympathy and empathy are often used interchangeably, but are very different. Sympathy just means we're sorry another person has faced some difficulties. Often we may even say we're sorry they're going through something, while at the same time feel blessed we're not. Empathy is when we fully take on what the other person is going through. Most often it's not saying a word as we do so.

The writer of Hebrews had this to say about empathy for fellow prisoners:

Remember the prisoners, AS THOUGH IN PRISON WITH THEM (emphasis mine), and those who are badly treated, since you yourselves also are in the body (Hebrews 13:3).

To empathize, we must chain ourselves to the pain and hurt of others. That is what Christ demanded if we consider ourselves to be in the body of Christ.

The most important people we must empathize with and so mourn for are those who are yet unsaved. I've heard Christians say time and time again, "I can't wait for the rapture to come." Certainly, we all want to be with Jesus, but there are still too many people who have yet to surrender their lives to Jesus to want everything to suddenly come to an end. We need to mourn for those lost souls, rather than to see them left behind for our own selfish motives.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

– Matthew 5:4

Keywords: Empathy, Mourning, Sickness, Sympathy

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