Meth: a Ticking Timebomb Gone Viral

The Positives and Negatives of Travelling Alone

Each day at my hotel, I set my alarm for 9.00 am so I don't miss breakfast. I then walk to the local mall for supplies (and the exercise), and return to my room covered in sweat. I then unload the cold stuff into the fridge and go for a swim.

Over the last two days, I have heard couples nearby in the pool who are Aussies...the accent is unmistakable and as a fellow traveller, I always make a point of saying gidday. Now this is where it gets interesting (for me). I'm a lone traveller. I prefer to travel alone because when I wake up, I do whatever I want.

There's never any, "What do you feel like doing today, darling, sweety pie?" Obviously, said by the male, whose balls are stored in his wife's handbag for safekeeping.

Followed by a sigh and a look of complete boredom, "I don't know...what do you want to do?" Procrastination and preferring him to make the decision just in case things go awry, is, after all, a woman's prerogative.

This would, for me, be a huge PIA. And even though there are times when I would love to have company, I don't know how well I would bear under such circumstances. Being single for as long as I have, brings a certain attitude towards procrastination and a lack of confidence to say exactly what I, or my partner, want to do that day, if asked.

So, poolside yesterday, I spoke to an Aussie couple, and almost as soon as I began to converse, the wife swam away from the men and stayed a short distance away...not too far so she couldn't hear the conversation, but far enough so she wouldn't become involved. I guess she may have thought it was a man thing, but looking a little deeper (as I tend to do), there was more to this separation than meets the eye.

Call me paranoid, but I got the feeling that if, instead of it just being me having a chance meeting with fellow countrypersons (or is it countrypeople? I never was good at political correctness, but there is my effort for this post) and I was with a female partner (or even if I was gay, a male partner...which I think would have made her much more approachable...but may not have worked as well for him/us...I am only speculating here...and with the entire experience really), there may have been more of a bonding session going on than just between me and my Aussie friend.

Anyway...bottom line is, after a few minutes, the husband became a bit edgy and we excused ourselves with a, "It was nice meeting you." And off he went to pay more attention to his wife than he had to me for the last three minutes.

Fast forward to today and I heard the familiar accent and said Hi...and although the wife this time was a little more chatty than on the previous day, there came the inevitable point where goodbyes were required. And I cannot help but wonder, if I was not travelling alone, and instead had a partner (preferably a wife I think) that instead of me eating alone in my room tonight (which is my preferred option because I am a little agoraphobic anyway), the four of us (the couple and me and my non-existent wife) might have made plans to tonight eat together in the restaurant.

Pure speculation, I know...but this is something I am pretty confident about. Call it the third wheel syndrome. Call me a rouge male. Or it simply being my own paranoia...or, her not getting a fair claim on the deal. She would have had things that women would find in common if I had been with a partner/wife, and then us men could talk about our stuff...along with occasional interactions to make things seem more embodied, and make it feel less like a masculine vs feminine four ships passing in the night kind of situation.

I suppose I must accept that I am a rouge...a lone male elephant who doesn't give a fuck if I upset anyone with my views. As opposed to if I was one-half (or at least one-third...like the wardrobe situation we men all understand and comply with...otherwise) of a couple, where one must watch every word one says, just in case one upsets someone's applecart and have to pay for it later with a cold shoulder and a blunt, without a single word needed, "No sex for you tonight, buddy".

And the truth and fact of the matter is there will be no sex for me tonight, no matter whose applecart I do, or do not upset...even my own.

Cynical, aren't I? That's what happens to a rouge who has been left without proper training for too long a period of time. And if (God forbid for both our sakes) I ever do meet someone special, I'm sure it won't take long for her to bring me into line and teach me all I need to know about couple etiquette and doing as I am told..."Or no sex for you, buddy."

And I pray to God that if I am ever faced with that situation, hopefully, there'll be enough of the old rouge left in me to say, "Darling, I'm just popping in for a quick shower before bed."

I do hope I have the balls to keep them (my balls) where they belong...and not allow them to be slowly and painfully removed and find their new home in my future wife's handbag. Especially when she inevitably catches me in said shower taking care of what she has deemed untouchable by way of her own devices...and certainly NOT by way of my own.