Meth: a Ticking Timebomb Gone Viral

The Strange Phenomenon of Age Reversal

There is something strange going on with me. It might be (it could only be) all in my mind, after all, isn't everything? But, I feel younger today than I did yesterday. And not just younger, but stronger and fitter. It could be put down to the fact that I am training like a MF, but I'm trying to fathom HOW I am accomplishing the extensive workload.

In the past, I have done a lot of training. I know my body well, and when it comes to my physicality, something isn't adding up. I'm doing some serious training sessions each day (in the vicinity of three hours). The thing is that I'm not feeling fatigued at the end of the day like I should be. I'll be sixty soon, and even my libido has done a complete 180-degree turn. The only unfortunate thing about this is I still don't have a partner. And with an abundance of single Thai women hanging out in bars only a few minute's drive away, it is becoming very tempting to go check out what all these Farangs are getting into.

There's a voice in my head that yells at me each time I begin to entertain the idea, telling me that I will be chewed up and spat out...a guppie in a tank full of sharks. Of course, this is something I cannot do (have sex with prostitutes). Why? Because I am stupid? Because I cannot face the reality that here, it is perfectly acceptable for an older and foreseeably richer Westerner to have a Thai Girlfriend much younger than himself and come to some mutual monetary arrangement. We (older men who should know better) want to have sex with young and beautiful Thai women, and they want (need) money to help support their families. It all looks fine on paper, but the reality, I feel, might not fit the page as well as the fleeting, dumbass idea does in my head.

I may need to employ a guide...an old hand who can show me the ropes. I don't drink alcohol, so this reduces my Dutch courage levels significantly. Perhaps my best and wisest old friend (me) is right to tell me, "Don't go there, Neil!"

The last time I had sex in the flesh and in person (entities/demons and an online friendship with benefits aside) was in November 2016. For those of you who are mathematically challenged, that's eight fucking (or not fucking) years. Now there were reasons why this was so. I was in love with a drug called Methamphetamine and nothing and no one could come between us. I also had the responsibility of caring for my Mom. But the main reason I never looked for someone during those eight years was because of my addiction.

Now that all the aforementioned excuses I had to avoid intimacy are gone, I am struggling to find someone who is perfect for me in every way (please read facetiously). Oh, to finally meet that one person (the latest and hopefully last soulmate I will encounter) who compliments me physically, emotionally and mentally.

But alas, although she may be out there somewhere, just waiting to ask me where I have been all her life, the reality is we might never bump into each other in the grocery store isles (with the right foodstuffs on board our respective trollies) or see and swipe the correct way (whichever way that is because I've never dared to put myself out there to be judged by everyone on a particular dating site as worthy or unworthy of giving or receiving love).

Some people have given me sound advice and said if I am serious about finding someone, I need to pay to be on one of the more professional dating sites. To be perfectly honest, I don't think I am dating material. For a start, I still have a long way to go in my recovery. I have only just arrived in a new country to begin a new life, and I cannot help but think that meeting someone now might change the direction I am planning on taking...which is exploring Cambodia, Vietnam, Laos, Malaysia and perhaps even The Philippines. And that's just the beginning. If things settle down in Europe, I would love to visit Holland and Iceland. A dream would be to ride my bike through Switzerland and Finland during the summer months. All of these places I could go with a partner, but I feel like I shouldn't be afraid to do it on my own...and perhaps solo travelling is the best way to get the most out of an adventure.

It wasn't until about two weeks ago that my body dealt me and my sex drive an unbeatable hand (excuse the pun), and now that my libido has decided to make a second coming (again...excuse the pun), has complicated matters beyond what I would have anticipated. I suppose this could be a post-midlife crisis...me buying a brand new motorcycle and all these thoughts of fucking hot Thai women.

Perhaps the therapist I need to talk to might see these hallucinations of demonic entities as a lesser evil than my desire for fast adventure and sleeping with girls young enough to be my daughter as the main issue here. This is unlikely though because he probably supports a much younger Thai girlfriend and will say something like, when in Rome, do as the Romans do. To which I will reply, "But, Doc... what about all the STIs that a condom doesn't protect me from?" And he will roll his eyes at me, just like the other men I have asked that question whilst I have been here who don't even bother to wear a rubber.

I thought life would get easier once I got meth out of my life...and it has, only to face the new challenges that have inevitably arisen, just when I thought I was home-free.