poems for Poetry Place |
Computer Blues (revised) Sometimes I think My computer is plotting against me And only me Trying deliberately to drive me mad My computer knows when I am busy Then it throws a hissy fit Refuses to boot up Crashes constantly Looses data that it had the day before Or five minutes before Or refuses to save the data Just f***s with me As it loves toying with me Making me yell and scream At my damn computer screen Cursing up a blue stream of blue curses As the blue screen of death Marches across the dark blue screen Smiling at me As I beg it To do what it is supposed to do Just once I beg it Do what you are supposed to Open the document once Not twenty times Do not not respond In endless loops of opening Not responding refusing to close Until I respond to the error code Please Mr. Computer Quit playing games Play my music Don't wipe out the sound On the fifth attempt to play music Don't take an half hour to load Microsoft products Don't freeze up on opening ITUNES or Groove or Spotify Don't give me computer haiku error messages That only make sense to computer geeks Such as general error reading files Who the ***** is this damn general And why is NSA reading my files Or can't save the file Or can't save the an open file When it just did ten times in a role And in Microsoft excel Refusing to move the cursor Just freezing in place for a moment And all the other gobblygook messages That pop up every five minutes it seems As the computer slowly drives me mad Flashing the final insult User driven mad Mission accomplished |