Meth: a Ticking Timebomb Gone Viral

The Common People

My alarm woke me at 5.00 am today, so I could be at Hua Hin Train Station to catch the 6.40 Express to Bangkok. To put things into perspective (for those of you who are up with the birds), I normally set my alarm for 8.00 am, but usually snooze for another hour. I hear you...why don't I just set my alarm for 9.00? The answer is, I would then hit snooze and get up at 10.00.

Anyway, this morning was (thank God) a one-off to go pick up my motorcycle from the dealership. It has taken me four months to clock 1000 kilometres on the odometer. For its first service, they had to drop the oil, replace the oil filter and grease the shaft drive. I'm now allowed to rev the engine to its full potential (not that it needs to be with 147 BHP at my disposal) and I can now plan longer rides touring Thailand and surrounding countries.

The train ride was an adventure. I could have booked a taxi, but I genuinely wanted to see what it was like for locals...the common people who regularly travelled by train to Bangkok. There were plenty of other options (buses, minivans and private taxis), but I deliberately chose the cheapest available way. Not because of the cost, but (as I was to later find out) because I'm a sucker for punishment.

There I was, riding in coach and fantasizing about the more affluent travellers, along with budget-conscious backpackers (who had better sense than I). People who were up there in first and second class, sitting in plush seats being served beverages by a Stewart. Meanwhile, my ass was seated on a hard bench seat and being touted by Thais selling all manner of drinks and foodstuffs. And because I haven't been here long (and don't speak the language) I had no idea what it was they were offering. Good planning meant I had eaten breakfast before I left for the train station.

Watching the vendors operating in the aisles between stations was like watching a well-oiled machine. One group of people would walk the length of the carriage hawking their wares, and at a predetermined stop, would disembark, only to be replaced by a whole new set of vendors. This was repeated several times on the four-hour journey to Bangkok.

My ass began hurting around the halfway point. Thai men would smoke cigarettes in the space between the adjoining carriages, which distracted (or infuriated) me enough so I would temporarily forget about the pain in my ass. It was an interesting trip. It may sound like I am griping, but for the princely sum of B200, or around US$5 (compared to B2500 for the taxi), I'm not complaining...well, maybe a little.

The real complaining began on my way back to Hua Hin. Google Maps is great, but the fastest way to get from central Bangkok back to my home is by a motorway that apparently, motorcycles are not allowed to enter. Try explaining that to an algorithm whilst traversing Friday afternoon traffic...especially when it led me right back to the same motorway entry. The toll collectors who saw me approaching for the second time must have questioned if I was a stupid Farang. A question I myself was asking as I rode headlong into the unknown and snarl that is Bangkok traffic.

Eventually, Maps realised I wasn't going the way it wanted me to and I breathed a sigh of relief as the tall buildings and bumper-to-bumper traffic slowly disappeared in my rearview mirror. I then settled into the two-and-a-half-hour ride back to Hua Hin. My relief, however, was short-lived, when about an hour into the trip, I felt a burning pain between my shoulder blades. Then my wrists and ankles chimed in with their own complaints, and my bum reminded me of the morning journey and the hard seat on the train. I began seriously contemplating what the hell I was thinking taking on motorcycle touring at my age.

Two hours in and I almost threw in the towel by stopping for a rest (which would have been the smart, but not the brave thing to do). And that's when I played my trump card. I asked (more begged) my disembodied spirit attachment/demon, Angel if she would help me with some pain relief. I get that the likely answer is any benefit I get from this request is purely psychosomatic/placebo, but within a few minutes, the pain subsided and I continued the ride non-stop all the way home to Hua Hin.

Tonight, I feel like instead of catching the train, I fell under it. But, I have a real sense of accomplishment for today's efforts. Now, each time I ride my bike, my body will harden and get used to going longer distances. And as a reward for a great team effort, in the morning, we are going to have a sleep-in.