Journalistic Intentions Encore

#roosterapparatus

         Now bear in mind that I have never claimed to be a farmgirl, or farm-aware person, or a farmer. Seeing the new-to-me words roosterapparatus aroused my curiosity. Perhaps I am naive, but my first thoughts were what kind of equipment would a rooster require and what would that be?

         I rarely bother myself with anything rooster related. My knowledge stems solely from cartoons and a movie or two. Are roosters not the animal equivalent of an alarm clock? Do they not live solely to annoy sleepers?

          Hey! It's the crack of dawn. I'm wide awake and raring to go. Get up you lazy laggard! Time's a-wastin'. Why should you sleep in? Move it, move it, move it!

         Yes, what could an ambitious , feathered fowl of the early-alert-system possibly desire? Could he covet a whistle? In the realm of anything is possible, a rooster could conceivably suffer a bout of laryngitis rendering him unable to crow much less squawk.

         Would he somehow acquire a megaphone to blare his urges to rise and shine? He'd need only whisper and the device would amplify his intentions.

         As I conceive it, a rooster prefers to deliver his raucous message from a sound-enhancing height. Imagine an injured, or aging rooster physically unable to leave the ground. Would he employ a simple rope and pulley gadget to hoist himself aloft?

         Just what would an often scrawny, Napoleonesque strutter need?

         I suppose I will admit that my rooster knowledge is shaped by that loud, obnoxious, good ol' boy, in-your-face Foghorn Leghorn. I laughed at his corny sayings. He's about as sharp as a bowling ball. His muscles are as soggy as a used tea bag. I keep pitchin' 'em and you keep missin' 'em.

         Anyway, I digress. I consulted good ol' Google in search of elucidation. What the...? A rooster apparatus is a glass bong. The echo of that metallic sound reverberates still.

         Many of the online ads crow PROUDLY MADE IN U.S.Hmmm, nothing to brag about.

         Nope. That particular item is not on my must have list, and not just because glass anythings have a short life span in my orbit. I am not in the market for any kind of rooster. Feathers or shattered glass, a mess is still a mess.

          377 words