Trauma Bound

The Oldest Sibling

As I got a little older and able to do more things, the relationship with my oldest sibling(brother) became more
confusing. My oldest brother would take me to Colonial Park once a week. I remember the first time, he brought a loaf of bread with us, so that we could feed the ducks. We would break each slice of bread into tiny bite size pieces and throw them in the pond, on the grass, and sometimes even into the air. The ducks would fly, swim, run, to grab up the pieces of bread as quickly as possible. After feeding the ducks, we would go to the playground, where I would hop up onto a swing and my brother would push me so high, I felt like I was flying and go to the moon, especially when he did an underdog push. The underdog was my favorite type of push. He would push so high that he ran under the swing as he pushed and would turn around and look at me, with both of us laughing. The came the slide that looked like the tin man from the Wizard of Oz. I would climb the steps that seem to go higher than a building to someone like me, who was only in a size 4t even in first grade. I would go down the slide so fast, that I would either get caught by my brother's arms or I would land hard on my butt in the dirt. My brother had brought a kite with us, that we would take out of the car after playing. My brother spent the time to give me the knowledge of how to release the string of the kite, allowing just enough tension and slack in the line so that it could take off, but not too high, as I am just a beginner. He would then show me how to control the kite, once it was in the air. He taught me to never get too close to trees, powerlines, or anything else up in the air. If the kite gets entangled in a branch or on a powerline , you don't usually get it back down, unless you are a monkey or a professional climber. This became a weekly outing for the two of us until he moved out of our parents' house. My brother could be so gentle, caring, and loving, one minute, yet turn into the scary monster at night.