Me, myself and the public

My Mum-a mystery in itself...

I promised to talk about my mum, so here goes...
My parents divorced mainly because of my mum. she's a Jehovah Witness, and apparently Jehovah Witnessess aren't supposed to marry other non-Jehovah people. Dad tried to get to grips with it, but failed. She was always out tryin to get other people to join the faith while my dad had to do his and job and look after us lot.
I'm not sure how the process went, but they divorced and me and my brother were put in my dad's custody, and we moved a year or two later to my Grandparents' old house(they live in Jamaica now-we're Jamaican). Dad always got a bit of a hard time at first because he was a single father, and I had stopped eating for some reason and got really thin. When the Social services started to threaten to take me away Dad stuffed me down with mars bars. Now I'm overweight and pretty much hating my body. Dad feels so guilty and it's sad sometimes, seeing him beat himself up over it.
Me and mum still see each other when we can. She's a secretary and is always with one thing or another. I don't even think that my dad even really wants me seeing Mum in the first place because she's hardly ever there. She lives in the countryside and I'm in the city. I love mum of course but I'm angry for her leaving me and plus, i almost never see her. She's never been to any of my birthday parties. If i'm lucky I'll see her about 10 or more times this year (we last met in late January/early Febuary) and she almost forget my 13th birthday last year.
My friends don't understand really. apart from the shock of me growing up without a mother, one of my friends wonder why I don't hate her, why I still bother when she made it clear that she isn't a good mother.
It's the fact that she's my mother and we all make mistakes. It's also that she wants to see me, she misses me, and even though she had started to apoligise when i was about ten, it's still an apology, and I still want to see her myself. It's just that-I'm shy around my own mother, and I don't understand it. I really wish I could, but it makes no sense. So I'll go off to think about that.
Write to ya later
xxx