I knew this would happen...

closure

It sucks that such horrible mean things are said between people. But how else to end such a treacherous relationship? I guess that is why my gramma said "I doubt he wanted to say those things to you, he must have felt he had to." And now I have said hurtful things too, I cannot have him back in my life.

It is hard to explain, let alone realise such a love. The little things, and even the big things, seems so unimportant when I thought that they might stop me from spending the rest of my life with him. I just could not bear the thought of losing him. The games of who loves more, ended. Gradually things just got to a point where it was over but neither of us was letting the other go. Now all we do is push each other further and further away.

Now there is no turning back.

But as I told my daughter, that doesn't mean that I have to forget what was good. And people do come and go in our lives all the time, and always there should be something good to remember them by.

This would be so much easier if we didn't get along, if we had fought, if we hadn't loved each other. If pride was not such an important thing.

Perhaps it is different for me, having been able to view my life at it's end and realizing how important every day is, and why would I want to lose something so rare. But then I also read what has been written in the past, and wonder how I ever saw anything good in this relationship.

I guess I just loved him, i guess