The Thought's of Me!

Dishonesty

I've seen enough dishonesty in my 13 years of life to last an eternity. Most of it coming from the people I thought I could trust the most, my friends. But, now I know who's been lieing to me and who hasn't, and it makes me mad.

First of all, they said they would never ever lie to me. Then later on, I find out they were lieing to me the whole time. These people were supposed to be my friends. Somebody once said to me that I needed somebody who would be loyal to me, somebody I could trust.

Of course this person was talking about themself. But now, that there aren't any more secrets, I know. Even though this person was talking about themself, they weren't being loyal or trustworthy at all. Trying to play two different roles. My friends have never been completely honest to me, and I can't blame them because I myself haven't been completely honest.

There are just some things you can't, and don't, want to tell anybody. So you make up lies instead. Even though they might be small lies, these lies can grow into something bigger. My friends have been dishonest, and in return, I was dishonest back. Even though we're still friends, nothing will ever be the same. I

f one person brings up the topic, you can almost feel the tension in the room. Everybody tries to hid their true feelings behind a mask. I was never really good at hiding my feelings. If I was angry, people could see it. I'm pretty sure they could feel it also.

Because I've been told when I'm really angry you can just feel it radiating off of me. Some people take classes to surpress their anger. Even though I've thought about it, there is no way I could surpress all the anger inside of me. So instead, I've taught myself how to bottle all the anger up, and try to force myself to focus on something better.

But, should one thing set of my anger I'll explode. I haven't done it yet though. I'm trying to live up to my honor of being a caring and gentle person. But some day, somebody will just say one thing to spark my temper. I when I get a temper, it affects everybody. It'll only take one single sentence, or maybe even a word, and I'll loose it. I'll loose control of my temper, my anger, and I'll probably loose some friends in the process. It's already happened before. When will the next time be? And who all will it affect?