The Thought's of Me!

Lies

OK, I know I've talked about other people lieing to me. But in truth I haven't been completely honest to them. I've lied about some things about my life. Their lives sounded sooooo much more interesting than mine, so I made some stuff up. There aren't that many I haven't lied to, just some. A couple of people in particular.

I was going through I real state of depression a couple of weeks back. I was feeling depressed, and a little suicidal. So, I'm not exactly the type of person who thinks about killing herself. I still have a long life ahead of me, and I intend on living to get married, have children, and all that good stuff.

Well, like I said I was feeling suicidal, so I took a something sharp, don't know what is called, and a cut my hand. Just three little marks that you couldn't really see. Well the next morning they were plainly visible to my friends, they asked where I got them, and I didn't answer.

I think I made up a lie to one of my closet friends, but I don't exactly remember what I said. Well, about a week later I went into depression again, nothing seemed to be going right. I was having trouble with my friends at school, and my lies just seemed to keep building up and up.

So, I took something else that was sharp, and cut my arm, four times to be exact. I wanted these to show, so I would remember this time of my life. So I made them deep, real deep. So deep that they bled. I knew people would see them at school, so I just came up with an excuse.

I came up with something wild to, I said my boyfriend threw some Chinese throwing stars at me, while he was in a fight with another guy. They believed me to. I've done some other little scars, but they aren't as visible as the ones on my arm.

Well, today somebody was just now noticing the marks on my arm. She asked what happened, I was tired of lieing, so I told the truth. Self-mutalation. I glanced at one of my friends who I had lied to before. And I saw a tinge of surprise flash in her eyes.

So now, they know the truth. There are many things I have yet to tell them about. But in time, all the agony will build up, and I'll tell them everything.

And to the one person, you know who you are, that lives in the same city as me. The "Onterage" has disbanded. We never existed. All evidence that we ever existed as been burned. And we've asked those who have known to never speak the name, and never talk about it again. Just erase it from your memory. I have, and I hope you will also.

Our friendship has been very rocky. And I want to clean the slate. I feel we should just never mention any of this ever again. Just go one with out lives. I forgive you, and I hope you forgive me also. I would hate to lose you as a friend. Oh yah, by the way. Was that silver lipgloss you were wearing Saturday? If it was, then I have that same color.