trapped in a soap opera

complicated

I've been thinking a lot lately about my relationship with Perk and what will happen when he leaves. We have both admitted to each other that we are going to miss each other more than weve cared to admit. It is so weird how I can love him so much, but its not a romanitc love, its just so hard to explain. Im going to miss him a lot--i hate my life everytime i get someone good into it that can put up with my shit--then soemthing happens and i lose them. boyfriends come and go, but its people like Perk (and my old roommate Tracy) that you really wish could stay forever. its something special. Oh well no sense whining about it. I wrote a poem for him today--i guess he's read it by now--hes in Little Rock at MEPS till tomorrow night--gettin all his preliminary army shit done. i think im gonna stick that poem in here just for the few ppl that read this shit will get it better than the few ppl that surf and find it.

Story
3/30/03 (D.D.P.)

This is the story of us,
The story of two damaged souls
That lacked the time to heal.
Time has intervened
And, in your departure,
My heart will not break,
But you take with you
The piece of my heart
That bears your name.
Will it be missed?
Or will it maybe be replaced
By a piece of yours
That bears mine?

The future is uncertain,
As it always is.
In our absence
Will we grow apart--
Or come together?
Will what we've shared
Become just a bittersweet memory,
Or a story we tell
From our rocking chairs?
I'm not sure happy endings
Exist for people like us,
Because we are too afraid
To take the chance, and let them.


I cannot begin
To make a guess
As to what will,
And will not be.
All I know is that
What we have together
Cannot really be replaced.
What we have taught each other,
Will not soon be forgotten.
Whether this is a beginning,
Or an end--I don't know.
All I know right now is
You will be missed.


Well thats it. some of the lines could be taken wrong but i told him that b4 i gave it to him--prety muc he knows how i feel, and wont take them to mean that i want to like run off and get married tomorrow or anything. well anyway i guess im gonna go now, not really feeling like gettin into anything else

oh yeah i forgot--the blind date--we went to a hockey game in LR. Mark wasnt half as cute as mom said but he wasnt half bad either--more just like loud an out there--lil too much for me i guess. got along better with his roomie Sergio--he was pretty cool. Also some friends of his that were at the game were really hot dammit LOL Oh well i wasnt that wound up the other night and he was so i probably wont end up doin anything with him cause i bored him to death LOL--oh well nto like i need any more man problems anywayl. OK got to go do some dishes and get to bed i suppose--its early but theres no one online to talk to so yippeee here i go.
Later