Journal

wonder

everytime i wonder i look at his poems. full of pain and sarrow, i'm not sure i can fully convice of. i have never loved so much it hurts. i have never put a razor blade to my skin in dispair. i have never watched my parents hit each other. how can i help this person? have i closed myself off to him? yes, i have closed myself off to pain. now i have more friends. the kind of friends that laugh and tease, but know nothing. there are two kinds of friends. i used to have both. now i only have one kind.


dee's flight left this morning. i haven't spoken to her since tuesday night. i am not really sure if i will ever speak to her again. i am so numb right now. i'm hearing my words over and over again. i keep wanting to ask everyone, "was i right?" if i need to ask i was probably wrong. i probably over reacted. what is worth losing a friendship over?

today i went and saw bruce almightly with kellie. it sucked. don't see it. it was a cheese predictable movie and i wish i hadn't gone. i need to get a job. joy. i really hope this works out.