trapped in a soap opera

shits gettin to me again--imagine that

seems like everything always comes at once. i spent a while last night figuring out how much of this shit i have left--and i figured out that ill probably graduate sometime 6 mos to right before my 28th birthday--i have to deal with this shit that long!!!! im getting tired of the whole college scene. it was fun for a while, but i find myself finally growing up i guess, cause it seems like everything that they do doesnt interest me except every once in a while. i feel like a damn baby sitter. im going to be at least 27 thats rediculous!! and theres all this advantage/disadvantage shit going on too. i could save some time and go to school in the summers for a while ( which i actually prefer--less time to get bored with the class) but if i do i could get burned out. but i cut some time off of this freakin life sentence. i could take easier classes (both sem of elementary spanish instead of accellerated) so i could hold a job, and get a car or an apt, but if i do then it takes that much longer. i dont knwo what to do about any of it.

i find myself going to the edge ot see if brad is there. i dont want to date him, but sometimes its nice to hang out with someone my own age that i can have an intelligent conversation with. i dont knwo about any of that either.

well talking about all this is just depressing me more so i guess im going to quit for now.