trapped in a soap opera

how do i feel?

im actually at home so i can do my assign on the computer....
how do i feel right now????

i feel like im walking drunk on a tightrope, and below me is nothing but broken glass. i feel so out of control scared at any second im just going to fall. i feel shaky a lot. i cant tell whether im about to laugh hystericaly, or cry or scream or what. i feel like any second im going to explode and i dont know why. i dont want to be by myself because then all i do is think--i cant make it stop, but im also kind of afraid to be around people because im wound so tight i feel like im going to go off about the slightest little thing. no telling what ill do--i dont even know and its scaring me. its like...i want people around but dont do anything but sit there and be quiet, dont try to argue, dont touch me, dont talk incessantly. i dont even know what i want really. i dont like this feeling at all. this is the feeling that led to getting kicked out of the navy--im scared of what i could do because i really dont know what will happen next.