trapped in a soap opera

this is bullshit

yeah thats what i said--this is bullshit. tymm and i have been together about four and a half months, and for at least 3 of that he has been promising to go home with me when i go visit sean (we didnt htink mom would let him stay at the house before that) and has he went???? no. promises promises--pretty much every time he says hell go then something comes up and then whatever comes up always ends up falling through. its bullshit. he tells me today while there are a lot of people in the room that "oh yeah im going to KC to see dave this weekend" thats a load of shit. hes leaving me to go smoke weed with his friend on labor day weekend--what do i get to do? hang out with moy family and 6 yr old whopee. fuck this shit. i had ot do errands all day today so i didnt get home till we already had a bunch of people in the house. i feel asleep cause ive been sick, and apparently told him to wake me at 9:30. well he did--but hes ready to go to sleep, by the time i actually manage to wake up enough to go to bed--hes out--no goodnight kiss no nothing--fuck he could have waited 10 min its not that hard. i wait up on his fuckin ass all the time.
im so sick of having everyone just walk all over me what have i ever gotten for being so nice? nothing. is it too much to ask to spend a little time alone with him since i had to work monday and tomorrow? and apparently im not going to see him all weekend? i dont think so but apparently it is. fucking men. he wants to eventually get married and bitches to me about my priorities all the time about how mine should be school and Sean. so what are his?? apparently his friends and weed. cause thats all he ever ends up doing when he stays home. its not like its even for the whole weekend its for one day total (since i dont get there till sat afternoon and leave sun afternoon) i dont think its fucking asking too much for him to go once in a while....but apparently it is. fuck this shit, fuck this shit, fuck this shit. im tired of it. when do i take first billing? probably never. ok im venting--thats why i have this fucking thing so get over it. im pissed and thats about it right now.