trapped in a soap opera

so very tired

i dont rally feel like writing--i dont feel like doing anything. i think i need to admit myself but at the same time i cant--i cant pay for it and even if i could then id have to pay back my financial aid for this semester and i definitely cant do that. im so tired--tired physically, tired emotionally, tired of being alive--i just wnat to cross that line go to sleep and not come back. tymm is mad at me because i didnt go to batesville--dammit im trying so hard right now just to stay alive. he doesnt see that i just want to die--im tired of this life i really am. i just dont feel like i can do it anymore.