Just Plain Jennifer: A BLOG

Boring bullshit about how terrible I am

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So I'm sitting here at work and I'm trying to find a way to NOT fall asleep. I have no luck. I have work I need to do, of course, but since I'm the only one here, why not procrastinate, right?

My husband and I just bought a very expensive, nice thing that we cannot afford. When I say cannot afford, I mean we might be living out of a box soon. Have you ever been so poor that you've gone with out gas or electricity? (within the last 5 yrs) We haven't really gone long without it, but the fact remains. We are just so freaking irresponsible with our money and pretty much everything else. (by we I mean mostly me) I really wonder how we keep our jobs.

Where do I go from here? I smoke, eat terribly (and am thus, fat), spend all our money. I have no control of my life and that sucks. I just don't know what I can do to change. I feel like these terrible habits are more than just habits, but a permanent fixture of my persona. I wish I was wrong, but I don't think that I'll ever be able to change for more than a week at a time.

Really, who gives a fuck. All I need to lose now is my empathy and that would pretty much solve the problem.